Perceived benefits and costs of romantic relationships for women and men: Implications for exchange theory

Abstract

This investigation examined the perceived benefits and costs of romantic (i.e., reciprocal dating) relationships. In Study 1, subjects provided open‐ended reports regarding the benefits and costs associated with romantic involvement. Different groups of subjects ranked (Study 2) and rated (Study 3) these benefits and costs for importance. Companionship, happiness, and feeling loved or loving another were among the most important benefits accompanying romantic involvement. The most serious costs included stress and worry about the relationship, social and nonsocial sacrifices, and increased dependence on the partner. Compared to males, females regarded intimacy, self‐growth, self‐understanding, and positive self‐esteem as more important benefits, and regarded loss of identity and innocence about relationships and love as more important costs Alternatively, males regarded sexual gratification as a more important benefit, and monetary losses as a more serious cost than did females Implications for exchange theory are highlighted.

Parasocial Romance: A Social Exchange Perspective

“…Women rank intimacy and increased self-growth, self-understanding, and self-esteem as significantly more important benefits of real-life romantic relationships than men, but men rank sexual gratification as a more important benefit of RLRs than women (Sedikides et al, 1994). Men and women also rank the costs of RLRs differently.…”

“…Using fivepoint Likert scales, participants rated their level of agreement with 17 statements of perceived relationship costs and benefits, such as "When I spend time with X, I don't feel so alone." The 17 statement items were previously identified as important benefits or costs of romantic relationships (Sedikides et al, 1994). Other possible benefits included sexual gratification, increased happiness and elevated mood, increased understanding of one's self and of romantic relationships, perceived control in a relationship, and the unique fulfillment of needs by that relationship.…”

“…Men and women also rank the costs of RLRs differently. Women are more likely to perceive loss of personal identity and innocence as more serious costs of romantic relationships, whereas men rank monetary loss as more important (Sedikides et al, 1994). Better understanding sex differences in perceived costs and benefits of PSROMs might help researchers to better explain why people form parasocial attachments.…”

“…For both men and women, commonly identified benefits of real-life romantic relationships include companionship, sexual gratification, and feelings of love and intimacy (Sedikides et al, 1994). However, romantic relationships are acknowledged to come at a price; commonly perceived costs of real-life relationships include stress and worry about the relationship, loss of freedom to socialize with other friends and family members, loss of independence or self-esteem, loss of time and other resources (such as money), and the impact of these losses on other aspects of life (Sedikides et al, 1994).…”

The Self in Relationships: Whether, How, and When Close Others Put the Self “in Its Place”

“…Indeed , friends and partners promote each other's positive identities (Schlenker & Britt, 1999)-a process that Bernard (1968) termed stroking"-and shape identities in the direction of the ideal self (Drigotas, Rusbult, Wieselquist, & Whitton, 1999). It is not surprising, then, that individuals consider an elevation in their self-esteem as one of the major benefits of relationships (Sedikides, Oliver, & Campbell, 1994), with relationally involved individuals reporting higher self-esteem than relationally uninvolved ones (Long, 1983). The common thread of the above-reviewed literature is that close others are a safety cushion (even a cheerleader!)…”