ObjectiveThis study explored the perceptions, lived experiences, and coping approaches of women who live with spouses who have alcohol use disorder (AUD) in response to implicit and explicit messages from professionals and others in their environment.BackgroundWomen who live with a spouse with AUD are affected by their spouses' behavior and experience high levels of mental stress. These women are viewed as problem‐solvers and rescuers, on the one hand, or as enablers and “codependents” on the other. These attitudes may reflect society's ideas of women's gender‐related caretaking role.MethodSemistructured interviews were conducted with 12 women whose spouses had a diagnosis of lifetime AUD.ResultsContent analysis yielded three themes regarding the kinds of messages the women received: responsible and guilty, distanced and silenced, and reinforced and supported. The women indicated internalization of these messages and expressed they felt guilty, ashamed, and excluded, but in some cases, strengthened.ConclusionSociety and the people around these women bear responsibility for the negative images they internalize.ImplicationsAwareness of the implicit and explicit messages conveyed to these women is needed. Specific interventions should be designed to validate their difficulties and support them.