In this article, we critically reflect on the literature on intimate partner violence and the importance of an African feminist lens to understanding the influence of cultural discourse and practice in cohabitating relationships. We focus on intimate partner violence experienced by black young women in cohabiting relationships among the Vhavenda cultural group in South Africa. We reflect on the concept of matula, which views and constructs cohabitation as a taboo practice. We ask: what does it mean to intervene and respond to incidences of intimate violence in a relationship that is already socially and culturally negated? We interrogate the relevance of African feminist epistemology that prioritises cultural beliefs, customs, traditions, values and behaviour. Such epistemology, we argue, reflects the importance of thinking of gender and gender-based violence in the context of culture as dynamic and constantly negotiated by community members. Lastly, we explore the relevance of the African feminist perspective as part of the work of disrupting essentialising cultural and traditional practices that function to entrench gendered power dynamics. This study is conceptualised from a qualitative approach with in-depth, unstructured one-on-one interviews. Ten interviews with young women between the ages of 18 and 24 years were conducted through the Thohoyandou Victim Empowerment Programme in the Vhembe District, South Africa.