Violence against women remains a pressing and unresolved global issue which has proved resistant to over 30 years of feminist activism around prevention. This article argues that many prevention strategies have been shaped by unarticulated discourses about sexuality which have focused primarily on women managing the risk of the unethical behaviour of men. An alternative conception of sexual ethics is proposed based on Foucault's work on ethics, sexuality, governmentality and power as productive and in a constant state of negotiation. I argue that all sexual encounters, regardless of the gender of the people involved, invites the possibility of ethical sexual behaviour. Given the failure of prevention strategies in eradicating intimate sexual violence to date, there is a pressing need to consider how desire, acts and pleasure can be understood from an ethical perspective to create a greater possibility of realizing an erotics of consent. This would result in alternative ways of shaping violence prevention strategies and provide new directions for law, education and negotiating intimate sexual relationships of women and men of diverse sexualities.