Prioritizing the partner’s enjoyment: a population-based study on young Swedish women with experience of pain during vaginal intercourse

Abstract

The present study examines the prevalence of women who continue to have vaginal intercourse (VIC) despite pain, avoid telling the partner, and feign enjoyment. It also considers the reasons for this behavior. A sample of 1566 female senior high school students (aged 18-22 years) completed a questionnaire concerning their experiences and attitudes toward their body and sexuality. Forty-seven percent (270/576) of those women who reported pain during VIC continued to have VIC despite the pain. The most common reasons were that they did not want to spoil sex for or hurt the partner by interrupting VIC. Feigning enjoyment and not telling the partner about their pain were reported by 22% and 33% respectively. Continuing to have VIC despite pain was associated with feelings of being inferior to the partner during sex, dissatisfaction with their own sex lives, and feigning enjoyment while having pain. Pain during VIC is reported by every third young Swedish woman, and almost half of those still continue to have VIC. The major reason given is noteworthy ---prioritizing the partner's enjoyment before their own ---and indicates that young women who continue to have VIC despite pain take a subordinate position in sexual interactions. ___________________________________________________________________________

Within-person variability in relationship satisfaction moderates partners' pain estimation in vulvodynia couples

“…Women may conceal their pain to protect their partner, or due to feelings of shame and guilt, concerns over losing their partners, and out of obligation to engage in intercourse. 3,9,19,20,45 Men may be motivated to focus on the positive aspects of the sexual interaction (such as their own pleasure) or its negative aspects (such as feeling frustrated or more inhibited) and may, as a result, be less attentive to cues of pain from their female partner, leading to underestimation of pain. Recent research has shown that inducing a non-pain-related goal (ie, men's focus on their own pleasure or negative feelings) reduced attention to pain in a nonclinical sample.…”

“…However, women with PVD may not communicate their pain for fears of disrupting their partner's sexual enjoyment, losing their partner, or a sense of obligation to engage in intercourse. 3,9,19,20 These factors could contribute to partners' underestimation of women's pain.…”

Coping with painful sex: Development and initial validation of the CHAMP Sexual Pain Coping Scale

“…Avoidance, on the other hand, involves efforts to stay away from sexual activities, in particular vaginal penetration, because a fear of pain. Endurance and avoidance have been put forward as coping strategies for women with vulvar pain also in larger survey studies [11,12]. Alternative coping refers to endeavours to find alternative sexual activities that do not necessarily involve vaginal penetration.…”

“…This measure was constructed to assess how women with vulvar pain cope with sexual activities. Three main coping strategies identified in earlier studies (e.g., [9][10][11]) were used as a point of departure, namely endurance, avoidance, and alternative sexual strategies. The avoidance and endurance strategies were also based on research about other types of pain, where these have emerged as important but maladaptive coping strategies (e.g., [38]).…”

“…These three strategies are inspired by coping strategies found in other pain populations (see e.g., [38]), as well as by findings from larger, population-based studies. For example, in one study of nearly 1600 young Swedish women, almost half of the ones who experienced pain during vaginal intercourse reported that they continued having sex despite pain [11]. This might be interpreted as endurance-related coping.…”