PurposeGirls are underrepresented in many school science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) subjects, leading to ongoing gender disparity in STEM careers. This issue is not new and has seen a range of initiatives implemented in an attempt to increase girls’ STEM participation. In Australia, a number of these initiatives have emphasised role models and mentors. This paper seeks to understand the influence of role models and mentors on girls’ STEM identities.Design/methodology/approachThis paper presents qualitative research undertaken with STEM experts into the influences on girls’ STEM identities. Data were collected through three phases involving semi-structured interviews, a forum and focus groups. Thematic analysis identified the importance of mentoring and role modelling in shaping girls’ STEM participation and identities.FindingsThis paper provides a basis for rethinking how and when role models and mentors can assist girls in making decisions about STEM. In particular, it reveals the need for role models and mentors to consider the role of relatability in developing girls’ STEM identities and the need to do this at multiple points throughout girls’ lives.Originality/valueThis article captures the perspectives of multiple experts involved in a variety of STEM professions on the topic of how mentors and role models can influence girls to consider STEM professions. Utilising the concept of identity, this paper sheds new light on girls’ interactions with role models and mentors and the value of storying in role modelling and mentoring relationships as an important component of girls’ identity work in relation to STEM.