Queer BDSM Intimacies

Bauer, Robin

doi:10.1057/9781137435026

Cited by 104 publications

(10 citation statements)

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“…Having access to non-monogamous communities is a major step towards acceptance and challenging monogamous assumptions, since sharing experiences, feelings and strategies for negotiating relationships is a form of social support for non-monogamous people (Bauer, 2014). The lack of information about online or offline spaces for CNM increases the risks of potential conflicts with partners and having more emotional labour if only one partner is non-monogamous (Klesse, 2007).…”

Section: Signifying Open Relationshipmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…Having safe spaces to perform and freely express your sexual and relationship orientation is fundamental for Bi+ individuals, which usually lack trust in heteronormative relationship and LGT spaces due to previous experiences of biphobia and erasure (Barker et al, 2012;Schrimshaw et al, 2018). Spaces/associations that do not comply with heteronormative assumptions are considered safer and welcoming for non-monogamous Bi+ individuals (Bauer, 2014). In his story, Enrico, a bisexual poly man, discussed how expressing attractions towards a potential new meta-partner, a bisexual woman, in a BDSM space was easier due to the interweaving of desires, practices and performances within these spaces.…”

Section: Signifying Identity Through Relationshipsmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…Due to its wide availability, this narrative repertoire is usually perpetrated by sustaining that men are more rational, competent and reliable by presenting biological or evolutionary studies about gender difference (Rippon, 2019). Although this script has many hegemonic sides, within consensual-and plausibly non-consensual-CNM relationships there might be different stories and protagonists available for building scripts of "care" within other community context (Bauer, 2014). Principle of ethics of care provided within consensual non-monogamies and BSDM might facilitate negotiating the hegemonic repertoires of "protection" to "care."…”

Section: Masculinity As Caring Partnersmentioning

confidence: 99%

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Stories Told Together: Male Narratives of Non-Monogamous Bi+ and Heterosexual Men

Castro

2021

Arch Sex Behav

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The stories we tell about our identities and sexual orientations shape how we perform gendered scripts and negotiate relationships with significant others. Previous literature inquired the styles and outcomes of consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships, but more research is need on how CNM men resist or abide to hegemonic models of masculinity. To understand how constructions of masculinity and conceptualizations of sexual orientation are embedded in CNMs, the study analysed the stories of non-monogamous Bi+ and heterosexual men. Following a critical narrative approach, the study inquired the diverse conceptualizations of masculinity, sexual orientation and relationship practices in the narratives of 20 non-monogamous Bi+ and heterosexual identified men. The semi-structured in-depth narrative interviews (105 min on average) were analyzed via Nvivo 12 and explored their stories of desire and the sense-making process of being sexually oriented to one or more genders and to one or more partner/s. Engaging in non-monogamy was signified as a relevant insight from their personal stories and/or from adopting new concepts of desire beyond the “love as a zero-sum game.” The latter theme was also shared by many heterosexual participants that, when negotiating a non-monogamous agreement, signified their attractions to more than one person as part of their personal identity. Finally, the paper discusses how non-monogamous spaces can offer a positive and safe space for bisexuals/Bi+ people to explore and reaffirm their identities, constantly challenged by biphobia, invisibility, and erasure. Experiences and stories of Italian cisgender Bi+ and heterosexual men cannot be generalized to the whole spectrum of masculinities within CNM spaces, and the study lacks how other gendered and sexual subjectivities construct masculinity. Diverse stories and construction of sexuality and gender can lead to similar relationship preferences and understanding how we signify them can greatly improve our understanding of intimacies.

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Section: Signifying Open Relationshipmentioning

confidence: 99%

Section: Signifying Identity Through Relationshipsmentioning

confidence: 99%

Section: Masculinity As Caring Partnersmentioning

confidence: 99%

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Stories Told Together: Male Narratives of Non-Monogamous Bi+ and Heterosexual Men

Castro

2021

Arch Sex Behav

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“…The inevitable failure of pacing did not mean that participants ceased to practice it. Instead, despite its inevitable failure, its frustrations, and its role in rehabilitation, pacing was embraced by some participants as a part of queer-crip subversion of normalisation, producing a flexible normalisation (Stephenson and Papadopoulos 2006;Bauer 2014), where they could pass as normatively orientated in time if they had to, or if nobody looked too closely. This is one of those trickster strategies where it is difficult if not impossible to tell where normativity ends and crip begins, what is normal and what is abnormal.…”

Section: Crip Time As Pacing Timementioning

confidence: 99%

Performing Normal But Becoming Crip: Living with Chronic Pain

Sheppard

2020

Scandinavian Journal of Disability Research

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This article explores the tensions of crip time when it comes to the ways in which chronically pained people (or: people living with chronic pain) move in/through time in both normative and non-normative ways. In exploring how chronic pain develops slowly, and is often accompanied by disbelief and silencing, the paper considers whether crip time can include liminal spaces of becoming chronically pained, including medicalised spaces/times of testing and diagnosis. The paper then considers how pacing, which can be both a rehabilitative normalizing practice and a practice of self-care, is a part of moving through time in ways which can be read as both normative and non-normative. The paper concludes that there are multiple ways of moving through crip time, and multiple ways of living crip lives-which include liminal spaces, and spaces with conflicting understandings. 1 I take the term bodymind from Price (2015), as an active rejection of body and mind dualism, and an acknowledgement that disability-and sense of selfhood-is frequently neither located in, nor experienced as, just physical or mental. Chronic pain, for example, can be increased by stress-and periods of high pain can increase experiences of cognitive dysfunction ("brain fog") or feelings of depression, which increase stress. 2 I suggest here that ableist constructions of pain as non-normative (see Sheppard 2014Sheppard , 2018b impact the lived experience of pain to such a degree that, should pain be accepted as normative, our experience of pain would be utterly different from what it is now, to the point where it could perhaps be unrecognisable to us as pain. In effect, the sociocultural discursive construct of 'pain' and of 'body' has a deep impact on how we know/understand our bodyminds, and what we recognise as 'body' sensation.

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“…Complicated conversations about consent and bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism (Barker, 2013;Downing, 2013;Dymock, 2012), kink culture (Scott, 2015), queer body modification (Pitts, 2000), professional dominatrix work (Lindemann, 2010), and new modes of thinking about consent and deviant sex (Larsen, 2013) have broadened the cultural understandings of how women might perform, experiment with, or engage in scary sex to appropriate, transform, or reinforce their own oppression. This work has led to highly controversial conversations in the literature about the dichotomies between good and bad sex and between moral and immoral practices (Barker, 2013;Bauer, 2014;Scott, 2015).…”

Section: "Scary Sex"mentioning

confidence: 99%