Refusal versus massive investment: Qualitative study of parenthood among adopted adults in France

Abstract

Adoptees are studied more as children than as adults. While there is nevertheless a large body of research on adopted adults, little of this has focused on the families they build. Adoptees’ parenthood has been particularly neglected. The few studies conducted on this subject up to now all had serious methodological flaws, and were not interested in adoptees who either refuse to become parents or, at the other extreme, invest massively in parenthood. In the present study, our objective was therefore to better understand the experience and determinants of two specific attitudes toward parenthood among adoptees: refusal and massive investment. We carried out semistructured interviews with 13 adopted adults who held just such attitudes toward parenthood. The interview transcripts were submitted to a thematic analysis using QDA Miner 5 software. This analysis shed light on the experiences of adoptees who either refuse parenthood (satisfaction, parenting by proxy, views on child adoption) or invest massively in it (parenting style, desire for children, difficulties encountered), as well as on the determinants of these positions (impact of adoptee status, relationships with adoptive parents and with partners). These results enhance current understanding of the potential distress of adoptees regarding parenthood, as well as the challenges that this life stage can pose for them and their children. We discuss the theoretical and clinical implications.

Childlessness among adopted women: A study of the role of attachment through Bird’s Nest Drawings

“…the Bird’s Nest Drawing) to understand the role of attachment in adoptees’ choice of childlessness. The results suggest that insecure attachment (especially avoidant) might be particularly significant in this decision, a finding that supports similar investigations (Despax, Bouteyre and Halidi, 2021). Adequate or inadequate mothering, self-sufficiency and threat to the family were the themes most often mentioned in the stories accompanying the participants’ BNDs.…”

“…In the final stages, the determinants of the choice not to have children were further explored. The interview results have been published elsewhere (Despax, Bouteyre and Halidi, 2021) and the present study extends these findings by combining them with new BND evidence.…”

“…Because they failed, their children could not count on them. The fact that the participants drew parents who abandoned their children shed light on their representations of parenthood, so echoing the interview results that the choice not to become parents was often associated with a desire to move away from the model of adoptive parents deemed cold and distant (Despax, Bouteyre and Halidi, 2021). The fear of reproducing a pattern of abandonment themselves as parents may explain their decision.…”

“…The results further indicate that adoptees with insecure attachment do not want to access parenthood owing to experiences with their own caregivers whom they found to be lacking. The interviews also show that parenthood reactivates a fear of loss and a fear of abandoning a child (Despax, Bouteyre and Halidi, 2021), a concern mirrored in the drawings where emotional bonds were avoided, perhaps leading to the participants’ choice of childlessness. In addition, the study has highlighted the relevance of using BNDs with individuals whose life has been marked by discontinuities.…”