This article discusses the unsteady and uncertain conditions in which a potentially individualized life course co-exists with and survives in a so-called institutionalized, standardized, familistic and subprotective society. For the purpose, non-family living in early adulthood in a southern European country (Portugal) is taken as the example. On one hand, data from the 2006 European Social Survey (23 countries, N=43000) is used to contextualize the Portuguese transition to adulthood and the preconceptions about the so-called familistic societies in general. On the other hand, data on events and values from a small sample of young adults living alone in Portugal (aged 24-30, N=120, approximately 1% of the universe considered), along with official statistics on a housing programme for these young adults (Rental Incentive for Young People), allows us to analytically deconstruct preconceptions about the relation between intergenerational support and welfare policies in familistic societies. This data demonstrates most of all how a mismatch between the still-prevailing institutionalization of life courses in some societies and the reflexivity characterizing contemporary biographies produces critical points in young people's lives. It also demonstrates the adaptability of family cultures to these 'choice biographies' in comparison to the lack of adaptability of some youth policies, in particular those involving housing. These processes of mismatching and misunderstanding reflect and promote the inadequacy and inefficiency of communication between youth research and policy-making.