The growing global demand for petroleum-based products has resulted in increased CO 2 emissions, making it imperative to replace them with renewable alternatives. A viable solution to this emerging issue is to develop "tailor-made" fuels from alternate feedstocks such as biomass. In this vein, herein, we describe the synthesis of bioderived ethers for diesel fuel applications. By employing a well-established catalytic strategy known as telomerization, biomass-derived platform chemicals such as isoprene, methanol, ethanol, and butanol were upgraded to longchain olefinic ethers. Subsequent hydroprocessing of the unsaturated functionalities using catalytic amounts of Pt/C resulted in novel asymmetric branched ethers that consisted of 11−14 carbon atoms (up to 97% yield). The synthesized fuels exhibited flash points ranging from 71 to 100 °C, kinematic viscosities from 1.3 to 2.3 cSt, gravimetric net heats of combustion between 39.3−40.7 MJ/kg, and freezing points below −90 °C. In addition, derived cetane numbers (DCNs) of the fuel mixtures varied from 77 to 96, and normalized soot concentrations (NSC) were well below unity (0.27−0.32), indicating the cleanliness of fuel combustion. The physicochemical and combustion properties of the ethers are further compared to those of other bioethers along with biodiesel and winter diesel.