Derrida tells us languages are bearers of culture that are never neutral but always political; they impose a kind of cultural violence on the persons who speak them. If to speak a language is to participate in a form of political violence, then one challenge for family therapy becomes ethical: how to avoid forms of linguistic oppression that impose a language on others. Such ethics take precedence over questions of epistemology or approach: theory, knowledge, and language are in the service of others. As narrative, systemic, or dialogical family therapists, we speak the language of therapy so others can speak their own discourse and form their own language community. However, to be called a ‘therapist’ there is also a responsibility to help others in the best way possible, which may require speaking non‐relational, evidence‐informed professional discourses. The paper discusses an ethical family therapy as one that engages a range of therapeutic discourses while speaking the language of the client. This is illustrated by a practice example of integrative family therapy with a depressed, self‐harming, and suicidal teenager.