Relationship functioning following a large-scale sacrifice: Perceived partner prosociality buffers attachment insecurity.

Abstract

In a sample of 229 individuals who recently undertook a large-scale sacrifice by relocating for their romantic partner’s job or schooling (i.e., accompanying partners), we tested preregistered predictions linking accompanying partners’ attachment insecurities (i.e., attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance) and relationship functioning (i.e., relationship quality, relationship conflict, and move-related relationship benefits). We also examined whether any negative associations found among accompanying partners’ attachment insecurities and relationship functioning could be buffered by partner prosociality in the form of perceived partner gratitude (i.e., partners’ expressions of move-related and general gratitude) and perceived partner sacrifice (i.e., partners’ daily sacrifice behaviors and general willingness to sacrifice). Results showed that more insecurely attached accompanying partners reported worse relationship functioning after moving than their secure counterparts. Although gratitude and sacrifice did not buffer insecurely attached individuals’ relationship conflict, both perceived partner general gratitude and willingness to sacrifice partially buffered avoidantly attached individuals from experiencing lower relationship quality, while move-related gratitude helped avoidantly attached individuals to feel that the move benefitted their relationship. Meanwhile, perceived partner sacrifice behaviors buffered anxiously attached individuals from experiencing lower relationship quality. This is the first study to demonstrate, in an ecologically valid sample, the implications of a large-scale sacrifice for insecurely attached accompanying partners’ relationship functioning, as well as the protective effects of perceiving a partner’s prosociality following the major life transition of job relocation.

Lightening the load: Perceived partner responsiveness fosters more positive appraisals of relational sacrifices.

“…For example, avoidantly attached individuals may feel particularly challenged or threatened in their autonomy—likely especially so when making larger sacrifices—and perhaps benefit most from their partner being responsive by giving them more space (Maisel et al, 2008) or being responsive in less visible ways (Girme et al, 2019). At the same time, avoidantly attached individuals have been found to especially benefit from partner’s signs of appreciation (Murphy et al, 2021; Park et al, 2019), so expressing understanding, care, and validation may be best paired with invisible ways of supporting or intervening, thereby leaving the sacrificer’s autonomy intact (e.g., instead of organizing a meet up with other people after relocating, the partner could place a flyer of a social event on the kitchen table).…”

“…Other individuals may need more care and assurance from a partner when making or anticipating a sacrifice, such as individuals who are anxiously attached, or those with low self-esteem, who are already inclined to underestimate their partner’s responsiveness (Murray et al, 2002; Righetti & Visserman, 2017; Segal & Fraley, 2016) and may experience sacrifices in more detrimental ways (Righetti & Visserman, 2017; Ruppel & Curran, 2012). For example, in order to feel better about their relationships, anxiously attached individuals more strongly depend on signals of the partner’s understanding, care, and validation (Raposo & Muise, 2021), and after sacrificing, may be in particular need of seeing their partner’s willingness to sacrifice in return (Murphy et al, 2021). Thus, these individuals may need stronger demonstrations of the partner’s responsiveness in order to actually see their responsiveness and consequently appraise their sacrifices in more benevolent ways.…”