Relationship management strategies for daughters in conflicted relationships with their ageing mothers

Abstract

Although the daughters' strategies served their personal needs, they jeopardized the mothers' needs by creating an environment where neglect could occur. Daughters also readily and intentionally used aggression against their mothers. These were strategies daughters have found useful. These strategies may be potential areas for designing interventions to promote healthy family relationships and decrease the occurrence of elder abuse and neglect.

When Older People Are Violent or Abusive Toward Their Family Caregiver: A Review of Mixed-Methods Research

“…For example, turning away and relinquishing of the caregiver role and it and its expectations and demands, because relationships were the primary context in which power (and its abuse) played out and in which decisions and responses to violence were understood. It was identified that relationships shaped by violence and abuse in childhood and adulthood shaped how people responded to experiences of being cared for and providing care later in life (Phillips et al, 2001; Pickering, Moon, Pieters, Mentes, & Phillips, 2014). Illness appeared to complicate and compound dysfunctional and harmful dynamics already present in some, already conflicted, relationships.…”

“…Illness appeared to complicate and compound dysfunctional and harmful dynamics already present in some, already conflicted, relationships. This was the case, for example, in Pickering et al’s (2014) study of daughters who engaged in “spiteful aggression” and retaliatory violence toward older mothers who were neglectful or abusive toward them in childhood. Caring needs and caring roles could also heighten feelings of obligation and duty to family members.…”

Gender, Relationships, and Elder Abuse

“…It is ideal to identify not only relationships experiencing abuse but also turbulent relationships with potential to evolve into elder abuse so that appropriate prevention measures can be taken. Preventative measures may include referring the caregiving daughter to anger management, assisting with conflict resolution and/or communication skills (Pickering et al, 2015). Furthermore, dyads may benefit from assistance in identifying other sources of support such as home care services or long-term care facilities (Pickering et al, 2015), as this would reduce the responsibilities of the caregiver and thus limit potentially abusive interactions.…”

“…Preventative measures may include referring the caregiving daughter to anger management, assisting with conflict resolution and/or communication skills (Pickering et al, 2015). Furthermore, dyads may benefit from assistance in identifying other sources of support such as home care services or long-term care facilities (Pickering et al, 2015), as this would reduce the responsibilities of the caregiver and thus limit potentially abusive interactions. It is important for the nurse to acknowledge that, in some situations, the best outcome will be obtained by terminating the caregiving relationship and seeking other resources.…”

“…These suggested assessment questions were developed for a research study on elder abuse in mother-daughter relationships (Pickering, Moon, Pieters, Mentes, & Phillips, 2015) and were further refined as a result of the study. It is suggested that the nurse assess both the mother and the daughter separately in a nonconfrontational style using active listening.…”