There is renewed interest in cemented femoral fixation in total hip arthroplasty in the United States, and to fully appreciate the evolution of cemented femoral stem designs, an understanding of their history and design rationale is essential. To adequately study the outcomes of modern-day designs, a comprehensive classification system is also necessary. The biomechanical principles, failure mechanisms, and clinical outcomes associated with various cemented femoral stems are described in this comprehensive review. In addition, an updated version of an existing classification system is described that incorporates the primary design characteristics which differentiate implants currently in use. In this classification, implants are categorized as taper-slip (Type I), which are subdivided by Anatomic (IA), Double-Taper (IB), and Triple-Taper (IC) with subclassification for Traditional and Line-to-Line implants. Composite beam (Type II) implants are similarly divided into Anatomic (IIA), Straight (IIB), and Wedge (IIC) with subclassification for Polished, Satin, or Roughened finish. This classification system provides a basis for comparing cemented femoral stems, thereby improving our understanding of the effect of design characteristics on survivorship to guide future advancements and improve clinical outcomes.