Rules of Everyday Family Life: The Development of Social Rules in Mother-Child and Sibling Relationships

Abstract

The aims of this study were: (1) to characterise changes in the frequency and kind of social rules used in mother-child and sibling relationships over a 14-month period; (2) to assess the degree to which conflict functioned as a forum for social rules; and (3) to describe the nature of the association between references to social rules and the quality of family relationships. Naturalistic home observations of 47 families were conducted when focal younger siblings were 33 and 47 months of age. Family conversations were coded for a variety of rules. Over time, mothers referred to rules less frequently per hour, whereas elder siblings referred to rules more frequently per hour. Proportionately, mothers employed rules relatively more often than children; however, conventional rules were utilised by mothers more than moral rules. As hypothesised, moral rules were more symmetrical in sibling relationships and more complementary in mother-child dyads. Mothers mentioned social rules more often during conflicts, whereas siblings did not. Finally, moral rules mentioned by both younger and elder siblings were associated with less harmonious sibling relationships. Results were discussed with regard to theories of moral socialisation and the nature of family relationships.

“Hands Off the Car, It’s Mine!” and “The Teacher Will Be Angry if We Don’t Play Nicely”: Gender-Related Preferences in the Use of Moral Rules and Social Conventions in Preschoolers’ Dyadic Play

“…No study has addressed the question of which rules are more frequently mentioned by children while playing the roles of adults. For example, it is possible that while playing the roles of mothers girls discuss conventional rather than moral rules, as real mothers have been found to do (Piotrowski, 1997;Smetana, 1993).…”

“…The results of these studies suggest that the contribution of parents and peers to children's social development seems to differ by conceptual domains. Mothers have been found to discuss conventional rules more often, whereas siblings focus more on moral rules (Piotrowski, 1997;Smetana, 1993). Furthermore, observational studies have shown that parents of differently aged children vary in their concern about different domains (Gralinski & Kopp, 1993;Smetana, 1989) and that they respond differently to social transgressions in different domains (see Smetana, 1997, for a review).…”

“…Taking into account that boys' play is typically rougher and engenders more conflicts (Miller, Danaher, & Forbes, 1986), and that conflicts are related to moral statements (Nucci & Nucci, 1982;Piotrowski, 1997;Smetana, 1997), we expected that boys would refer to moral rules more frequently than girls would.…”

“…First, we investigated the hypothesis that girls, similarly to real mothers (Piotrowski, 1997;Smetana, 1993) whom they imitate in free play, would refer to conventional rules more frequently than boys would. Taking into account that boys' play is typically rougher and engenders more conflicts (Miller, Danaher, & Forbes, 1986), and that conflicts are related to moral statements (Nucci & Nucci, 1982;Piotrowski, 1997;Smetana, 1997), we expected that boys would refer to moral rules more frequently than girls would.…”

“…Piotrowski's (1997) coding system was used to distinguish between different kinds of moral and conventional rules. As is known, the age group of the focus children (i.e., 4-5-year old) possesses considerable knowledge of moral and conventional issues (Smetana, 1984;Smetana & Braeges, 1990), although the level of conceptual understanding within a domain also develops during the school years (see Smetana, 1993).…”