Self‐regulation in close relationships

Abstract

In the past 20 years, greater attention has been devoted to the study of self‐regulation in an interpersonal context. This review summarize this work and presents findings on how self‐regulation processes influence close relationship outcomes. The review is organized around the four ingredients of self‐regulation (i.e., standards, monitoring, self‐regulatory capacity, and motivation). For each ingredient, we discuss their influence on relationship processes and dynamics. In the standards section, we discuss the literature on approach/avoidance, promotion/prevention, goal conflicts between partners, and interpersonal goal support. In the monitoring section, we describe how partners' monitoring of each other's goal progress affects relationships. We also highlight that research on this topic is scant. In the self‐regulatory capacity section, we discuss findings on how self‐regulatory capacity is associated with relationship maintenance behaviors. In the motivation section, we review the literature on commitment and its impact on relationship dynamics. Finally, for each ingredient, we address an important avenue for future research.

The role of emotional dysregulation in the association between family‐of‐origin conflict and romantic relationship maintenance

“…Our findings provide support for understanding emotional self‐regulation as a salient predictor of romantic relationship maintenance that may partially explain the role of family‐of‐origin relationships in current relationship behaviors. Although emotional self‐regulation is a primary component of the broader construct of self‐regulation, other aspects such as executive function and behavior regulation are also consequential for relationship functioning (see Righetti et al, 2022) and are relevant to BFST. Future research should investigate unique contributions of each aspect of self‐regulation to relationship functioning to obtain a more holistic picture of this variable's influence on romantic partnerships.…”