Scurvy is caused by vitamin C deficiency and is often thought of as an ancient malady. However, it still afflicts present-day patients with insufficient nutrition, excessive alcohol consumption and disorders of absorption. Scurvy is traditionally characterised by ecchymosis, petechiae, haemorrhages, poor wound healing, myalgias and arthralgias, but it can also present with non-specific symptoms, including mood changes, fatigue, malaise and dyspnoea. Although scurvy can present with signs of excess bleeding, it does not involve blood clotting. We present a case of concurrent scurvy and pulmonary embolism in which clinical presentation and laboratory findings mimicked a coagulation disorder, resulting in delayed diagnosis and excessive resource expenditure. This case underscores the importance of obtaining an early dietary and substance use history in patients with unexplained haematological symptoms. These crucial components of history-taking can significantly reduce invasive and costly tests, resulting in quicker diagnosis and enhanced patient outcomes.