Sex differences in the events that elicit jealousy among homosexuals

Abstract

When individuals are asked which event would upset them more-a partner's emotional infidelity or a partner's sexual infidelity-among heterosexuals more men than women select a partner's sexual infidelity as the most distressing event, whereas more women than men select a partner's emotional infidelity as the most upsetting event. Because homosexuals' mating psychology is unlike that of heterosexuals, the present study examined which of these two events is more upsetting in a sample of 237 Dutch homosexuals. In support of our hypothesis it was found that, whereas gay men more often than lesbian women chose a mate's emotional infidelity as the most upsetting event, lesbians more often than gay men chose a mate's sexual infidelity as the most upsetting event. In addition, analyses showed that the effect of participant sex on infidelity choice was mediated by beliefs with regard to the co-occurrence of sexual and emotional infidelity. Apparently, with respect to choosing the most upsetting type of infidelity of their partner, homosexuals resemble heterosexuals of the opposite sex. Several explanations are discussed for this finding.

Effects of Sex, Sexual Orientation, Infidelity Expectations, and Love on Distress related to Emotional and Sexual Infidelity

“…Therefore, it seems this sexual orientation difference has emerged as a function of the incredibly high levels of distress to emotional infidelity reported by heterosexual women, lesbian women, and gay men (Harris, 2002;Sheets & Wolfe, 2001). Heterosexual men have also been found to be significantly more distressed by sexual infidelity than lesbian women (Harris, 2002), which contradicts other findings that show heterosexual men and lesbians respond similarly to the infidelity dilemmas (deSouza et al, 2006;Dijkstra et al, 2001). …”

“…Another emergent pattern is that lesbians, gay men, and heterosexual women tend to report similar levels of distress to emotional infidelity (Bailey et al, 1994;Harris, 2002;Sheets & Wolfe, 2001). Lesbian women have also been found to be more upset by sexual than emotional infidelity when compared to gay men (Dijkstra et al, 2001), but in most cases, no differences were found between these two groups (Bailey et al, 1994;deSouza et al, 2006;Dijkstra et al, 2001;Sheets & Wolfe, 2001). It is possible that lesbians hold similar views as heterosexual men (sexual infidelity as more upsetting) relative to gay men, whereas gay men hold similar views as heterosexual women (emotional infidelity as more upsetting) relative to lesbian women.…”

“…This latter variable was essential as past studies have failed to find sex differences in distress related to infidelity among people not currently involved in committed romantic relationships (Dijkstra et al, 2001;Ward & Voracek, 2004). Of these 321 participants, 25 were excluded from data analyses for various reasons: seven failed to respond to ten percent or more of survey questions, fifteen self-reported bisexual identities, two participants did not report their sex, and one individual reported being under 18 years of age.…”

“…Whereas this sex difference has been studied numerous times, only a few researchers have explored the influence of sexual orientation on which type of infidelity is viewed as more distressing (Bailey, Gaulin, Agyei, & Gladue, 1994;deSouza, Verderane, Taira, & Otta, 2006;Dijkstra, Groothof, Poel, Laverman, Schrier, & Buunk, 2001;Harris, 2002;Sheets & Wolfe, 2001). Because same-sex couples often create their own guidelines for how to behave within their relationships, definitions of infidelity vary greatly among these dyads.…”

“…In an attempt to model this study, Dijkstra et al (2001) had a community sample of Dutch lesbian and gay participants respond to Buss et al's (1999) infidelity dilemmas. Results indicate that lesbians were significantly more distressed by sexual infidelity than gay men on three of the six infidelity dilemmas, and it was the gay male participants' significant levels of distress felt towards emotional infidelity that created this difference.…”