Shattered dreams, resiliency, and hope: “restorying” after loss

Resilience in re-entering missionaries: why do some do well?

“…Although psychoanalytic theory sees denial as an ineffective strategy (Shedler, Mayman, & Manis, 1993), the stress and coping model posits denial as an adaptive strategy which may be why it contributed to resilience in this sample of participants who need to adapt to major transitions in every domain (Vos & de Haes, 2007). In line with other literature (Bowman, 1999;CampbellSills et al, 2006;Luthar & Brown, 2007), good mental health is also associated with participants' resilience in this study, whereas those who are less resilient describe crises and have poorer mental health indices. For those involved in missionary care on re-entry, especially health professionals such as general practitioners (GPs) or family physicians (Selby et al, 2007;Selby, Jones, Clark, Burgess, & Beilby, 2005), the findings of this study emphasise the importance of attention to possible mental health complications such as depression and anxiety.…”

“…He identified eight attributes in the literature which defined the concept of resilience: flexibility, high expectancy or a sense of purpose or achievement, self-determination, rebounding or reintegration with positive experiences of assimilation, social support with positive relationships, aspects of identity such as self-esteem, and self-efficacy and a sense of humour. The self-protective cognitive defence mechanism of denial (Dorpat, 1985;Vos & de Haes, 2007) with minimising thought patterns predominating has also been associated with resilience (Himelein & McElrath, 1996); so has good mental health (Bowman, 1999;Campbell-Sills et al, 2006;Luthar & Brown, 2007). In summary, resilient people responded to highly disruptive events such as the re-entry process with effective coping, involving mastery and positive adaptation (Earvolino-Ramirez).…”

Beyond liminality: orphanhood and marginalisation in Botswana

“…Doka (1995) termed such a situation as 'disenfranchised grief', which he defined as the grief that people experience from a loss that is not, or cannot be, openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported. Bowman (1999) argues that children in particular are vulnerable to 'disenfranchised grief', which he associates with 'shattered dreams'. He defines shattered dreams as "the loss of an emotionally important image of oneself, one's family or one's situation; the loss of what might have been; abandonment of plans for a particular future; the dying of dreams" (Bowman, 1999, p. 179) and he links shattered dreams with the need to create a new identity.…”

Forgotten grievers: an exploration of the grief experiences of bereaved grandparents

“…According to Malkinson and Bar-Tur, (2005) the death of the future seems integral to the intensity of parental grief responses. This grief of shattered dreams is rarely discussed (Bowman, 1999) and can be hidden and not openly acknowledged. This aspect of grief then becomes disenfranchised (Doka, 1989).…”

“…According to Bowman (1999), the notion of 'shattered dreams' has to do with selected images of oneself or one's family in which one has put high emotional investment. Children represent a parents/grandparents future in terms of generativity.…”