Sibling Bereavement and Continuing Bonds

Abstract

Historically, from a Freudian and medical model perspective, emotional disengagement from the deceased was seen as essential to the successful adaptation of bereavement. A major shift in the bereavement literature has occurred and it is now generally accepted that despite the permanence of physical separation, the bereaved remains involved and connected to the deceased and can be emotionally sustained through continuing bonds. The majority of literature has focused on adults and on the nature of continuing bonds following the death of a spouse. In this article, the authors demonstrate how the continuing bonds concept applies to the sibling relationship. We describe the unique continued relationship formed by bereaved children and adolescents following a sibling loss, highlight the factors that influence the siblings continuing bonds expressions, and offer clinical interventions. In our view, mental health professionals can play an important role in helping parents encourage activities that may facilitate the creation and maintenance of continuing bonds in their children.

Like being covered in a wet and dark blanket – Parents' lived experiences of losing a child to cancer

“…This model focused on the need for the bereaved to emotionally detach their relationship to the deceased child to achieve a closure. Newer models focus on parents remaining involved and connected to their deceased child through continuing bonds (Packman, Horsley, Davies & Kramer, 2006). The latter is in accordance with our study showing that parents tried to keep their memories of the deceased child alive in different ways.…”

“…Historically, the grieving literature suggested that the parents should emotionally disengage from the dead child to be able to move on with life and achieve closure. This has changed towards working through the loss and learning to live with the loss (Packman, Horsley, Davies & Kramer, 2006). However, grief seems to be individual and ongoing with no fixed ends (Price, & Jones, 2015).…”

Kayıp ve Yas Sürecinde Kardeşler

“…10 Ebeveynler ve sağlık personeli kardeşin yaşayabileceklerini göz önünde bulundurmaya çalışmalarına rağmen çoğu zaman ebeveynler ölen çocuklarıyla olabildiğince zaman geçirmek isteyebilirler. 42 Sonuç olarak ço-cuk için sorularının yanıtsız bırakılmasına ve yanlış anlamaların gelişmesine yönelik istemsiz bir eğilim görülebilmektedir.…”

A journey through unexpected sibling bereavement: an adolescent's grief and struggle to find meaning in adulthood

“…Despite its recognized value in working through grief, researchers have revealed that silence is a common experience in families who are struggling with the loss of a loved one. The emotional anguish and sorrow of parents is often so unfamiliar and powerful for children and adolescents, that they fear and worry about contributing to more heartache and, therefore, often choose to remain silent about their grief, as a means to protect their parents (Balk, 1983;Forward & Garlie, 2003;Horsley & Patterson, 2006;Packman, 2006). Furthermore, research studies have revealed that, in an attempt to control the intense emotions resulting from grief, adolescents often appear unemotional and avoid discussion of the deceased (Bank & Kahn, 1982;Christ, 2000;Christ, Siegel & Christ, 2002 children to share openly, most adolescents chose to keep their thoughts private because they believed that, by revealing them, it would only add to or intensify their parents' suffering.…”

“…However, the research also states that adolescent bereavement specifically relating to sibling loss often goes overlooked, underplayed, and underestimated in our society (Balk, 1990a(Balk, , 1991bDavies, 1988aDavies, , 1991bHogan & DeSantis, 1992a, 1994bHogan & Greenfield, 1991;Forward & Garlie, 2003;Packman, Horsley, Davies, & Kramer, 2006). Furthermore, limited longitudinal research exists regarding the complexity and intensity of unexpected adolescent sibling bereavement from its traumatic beginnings to its effects on the future development of the person (Balk, 1990a(Balk, , 1991bDavies, 1988a, 199lb;Hogan & DeSantis, 1992a, 1994b, Hogan & Greenfield, 1991Forward & Garlie, 2003;Packman et al, 2006). Consequently, western society Journey Through Grief in general is poorly prepared to intervene therapeutically with surviving siblings, who may benefit from grief counseling during adolescence and later in life.…”