Sibling Differentiation, Identity Development, and the Lateral Dimension of Psychic Life

Abstract

The lateral dimension of psychic life, lived through relationships with siblings and their substitutes, is structured around a distinct psychic challenge: to find one's unique place in a world of similar others. Like the challenge that structures the vertical parent-child dimension, the lateral challenge is fraught with conflict and ambivalence; its resolution imbues psychic structure. That resolution may be accomplished through a process of differentiation, an active and unconscious process of identity development by which a child amplifies differences with siblings and minimizes similarities. Differentiation from siblings serves to mitigate interpersonal rivalry with them and to ease internal conflict associated with the lateral dimension. Three clinical examples are offered to illustrate the operation of sibling differentiation and its costs, particularly in terms of constricted identity and attenuated relationships with siblings and peers. Differentiation as a process of becoming what the other is not has been eclipsed by identification in psychoanalytic theories of identity development. Yet differentiation is a common strategy for resolving the primary rivalries and conflicts of the lateral dimension, and has unique developmental and clinical implications.

Young Adult Sibling Relations: The Effects of Perceived Parental Favoritism and Narcissism

“…Whiteman, McHale, and Crouter (2007) identified three patterns in adolescents' siblings' relations with reference to sibling similarities and differences: (a) influence and competition-the second-born sibling try to be like an older sibling; (b) the younger siblings try to be different, trying not to be like, and not competing with their older siblings; and (c) "deidentification" and a wish to become different from one's brothers and sisters, which reduces sibling rivalry and competition. Vivona (2007), from a psychoanalytic perspective, claims that to maintain warm and close relationships with a sibling throughout life, one has to find one's unique place in a world of similar others. This challenge is fraught with conflict and ambivalence; its resolution may be accomplished through a process of differentiation, an active and unconscious process of identity development whereby a child amplifies differences from siblings and minimizes similarities.…”

“…It seems that when they are very much alike, or very different from each other, conflict arises between siblings. One explanation for this finding may be that the two individuals wish to be separate from one another and that extreme similarity might threaten such differentiation (Feinberg, Reiss, Neiderhiser, & Hetherington, 2005;Vivona, 2007); alternatively, extreme dissimilarity provokes conflict. In childhood, siblings form their identity through identification and differentiation (Weaver, Coleman, & Ganong, 2003) and through perceiving and formalizing sameness and differences (Schulman, 1999).…”

“…Deidentifying fosters the development of a separate and unique personality apart from the sibling and mitigates competition by limiting comparison. Counter identification with siblings clearly delineates the limits of self and defines the other as unlike the self (Charles, 1999;Vivona, 2007). In young adulthood, individuation and the uniqueness of each sibling become more crucial, and similarity to the sibling is used as a means for comparison as well as competition (Boll et al, 2003).…”

“…Moreover, in young adulthood-a developmental stage of personality formalization and consolidation-siblings in the process of self-differentiation often examine the similarities and differences between them (Vivona, 2007). However, how such a similarity or dissimilarity affects their relationships is yet unknown.…”

Identité, fratrie et immigration : étude exploratoire sur les contributions des relations fraternelles à la construction identitaire de jeunes adultes immigrants au Québec

“…Ce partage du territoire peut être illustré par la démarcation de l'espace, de ce qui appartient à l'autre, en opposition à ce qui m'appartient à moi. Concernant la construction identitaire, cette démarcation du territoire va de pair avec la démarcation des qualités respectives de soi et de l'autre par différentes opérations psychiques qui consistent à se différencier l'un de l'autre afin de garder sa singularité et parfois d'amplifier les différences pour maintenir séparées et renforcer les individualités (Vivona, 2007). En effet, le frère ou la soeur peut être celui ou celle qui vient menacer la singularité du sujet et ainsi mettre en péril son sentiment d'être unique et original (Mitchell, 2003).…”