Social Exclusion and the Desire to Reconnect

Abstract

People have a fundamental need to belong that, when satisfied, is linked to a variety of indicators of well‐being. The current article discusses what happens when social relationships go awry, namely through social exclusion. It seeks to resolve discrepancies in the literature by proposing that responses to social exclusion depend primarily on the prospect of social acceptance. When people feel socially excluded, they want to regain acceptance and thus may respond in ways that can help them do so. When the possibility of acceptance is not forthcoming, however, socially excluded people become selfish and antisocial. Evidence for this pattern was found at behavioral, cognitive, and biological levels. The motivation to gain acceptance may drive people to engage in negative health behaviors, such as smoking. Thus, excluded people demonstrate sensitivity to possible social acceptance, but they can exude an air of selfishness and hostility when there is no possibility of satisfying their need to belong.

When destiny hurts: Implicit theories of relationships moderate aggressive responses to ostracism

“…In addition, studies examining the effect of ostracism on aggression have repeatedly shown that ostracized individuals not only behave aggressively toward those who have ostracized them, they also behave aggressively toward strangers who do not represent sources of renewed affiliation (DeWall & Richman, 2011;Williams, 2007). In the current experiments, participants were given the opportunity to behave aggressively toward someone who did not represent a possible future friend.…”

“…Many responses to ostracism hinge on the prospect of acceptance, including aggression (DeWall & Bushman, 2011;DeWall & Richman, 2011). For example, offering ostracized people a small taste of acceptance is enough to reduce their aggression (DeWall et al, 2010).…”

“…Although ostracized people yearn for social connection (DeWall & Richman, 2011;Gardner, Pickett, & Brewer, 2000;Maner, DeWall, Baumeister, & Schaller, 2007), they often behave aggressively. Over the past 10 years, several studies have shown that various threats of exclusion cause people to behave aggressively in an assortment of different ways, such as reporting increased anger, blasting strangers with aversive noise, allocating hot sauce to strangers who dislike spicy foods, and thwarting people's opportunities to gain competitive employment (Ayduk, Gyurak, & Luerssen, 2008;Baumeister, DeWall, Gitter, & Twenge, 2009;Bushman, DeWall, Im, & Williams, Twenge, 2010;Gaertner, Iuzzini, & O'Mara, 2008;Baumeister, Stucke, Tice, & Twenge 2001;Warburton et al, 2006;see Leary, Twegne, & Quinlivan, 2006;Williams, 2009 for reviews).…”

Endocrine and emotional response to exclusion among women and men; cortisol, salivary alpha amylase, and mood

“…While immediate reactivity to social exclusion was studied extensively (DeWall & Richman, 2011; Williams & Jarvis, 2006), data on recovery patterns have been slower to accumulate (however, see Laurent et al, 2013; Oaten et al, 2008). Empirical data on recovery patterns are crucial, as it is during this phase that individual differences in reactions to social exclusion are expected to occur (Ford & Collins, 2010; Sebastian, Viding, Williams, & Blakemore, 2010).…”

The push of social pain: Does rejection’s sting motivate subsequent social reconnection?

“…When individuals experience damage to a social bond, they often attempt to repair it through affiliative behavior (DeWall & Richman, 2011; Williams, 2009). This basic logic underlies Maner and colleagues’ (2007) social reconnection hypothesis, which states that social rejection motivates individuals to fulfill their need for social connection by promoting affiliative and prosocial behavior towards new interaction targets.…”