Adolescence is a time when depressive symptoms and friendships both intensify. We ask whether friendships change in response to depressive symptoms, whether individual distress is influenced by friends’ distress, and whether these processes vary by gender. To answer these questions we use longitudinal Simulation Investigation for Empirical Network Analysis (SIENA) models to study how changes in friendships and depressive symptoms intertwine with each other among all adolescents, boy-only, and female-only networks in seven smaller K-12th grade Add Health schools. Findings indicate that distressed youth are more likely to be socially excluded, though depressive symptoms are also a basis for friendship formation. Moreover, friends influence each other’s mood levels. These processes differ for boys and girls, however, such that distressed girls are more likely to face exclusion and distressed boys are more likely to befriend and subsequently influence each other. Differences in these processes have implications for intervention efforts since the joint selectivity-influence mechanisms may undercut intervention efforts.