Family‐based treatment (FBT) is an evidence‐based approach to anorexia nervosa in young people. Because it is not always successful, attention has been given to how families experience the treatment. A number of therapists have proposed possible additions to, or improvements in, the model. In successful cases relational containment may be achieved in the first phase of treatment. The treatment is often successful, but when initial goals, such as weight recovery, are not achieved, continuing to use the techniques described in the manual may become unhelpful. Sometimes therapists may need to address issues such as emotion coaching that are not specifically addressed in the FBT model. We describe a case in which the therapist addressed the family's emotional style in the first stage of treatment. This focus enabled progress to be achieved despite the adolescent's continuing difficulty in eating without parental support, and her escalating symptoms of anxiety and obsessional compulsive disorder (OCD). Therapy helped the adolescent and family understand that anorexic and OCD symptoms can be understood as a way of distracting from and managing distress. When this connection was made in therapy, the parents could help their daughter to manage distress in more adaptive ways. Parents may need help with their own difficulties in processing distress. In this case the parents needed the opportunity to resolve feelings of grief about a miscarriage in order to do so. We propose that therapy should address family difficulties with managing distress from an early stage.