The era of poly(ethylene glycol) (PEG) brushes as a universal panacea for preventing non-specific protein adsorption and providing lubrication to surfaces is coming to an end. In the functionalization of medical devices and implants, in addition to preventing non-specific protein adsorption and cell adhesion, polymer-brush formulations are often required to generate highly lubricious films. Poly(2-alkyl-2-oxazoline) (PAOXA) brushes meet these requirements, and depending on their side-group composition, they can form films that match, and in some cases surpass, the bioinert and lubricious properties of PEG analogues. Poly(2-methyl-2-oxazine) (PMOZI) provides an additional enhancement of brush hydration and main-chain flexibility, leading to complete bioinertness and a further reduction in friction. These data redefine the combination of structural parameters necessary to design polymer-brush-based biointerfaces, identifying a novel, superior polymer formulation.