Talking (or Not Talking) about the Past: The Influence of Parent–Child Conversation about Negative Experiences on Children's Memories

Abstract

We review research investigating the influence of conversations between parents and their children about past negative experiences on children's memory and management of their emotional experiences. To do so, we are guided by social cultural developmental theory and a developmental psychopathology framework. In the first section, we first discuss the 'best case' scenario, in which parents and child have a close relationship within which the child's negative emotions can be discussed and understood, and the child's ability to remember her experiences in a detailed and coherent narrative form is optimised. In the second section, we turn to the most problematic scenario of child maltreatment, including child sexual abuse, and consider the implications for children's memory when these optimizing factors are not present or are limited. Finally, we discuss exemplar intermediary scenarios. We propose that early problems acquiring critical skills for remembering emotional experiences in the context of parent-child relationships can have negative consequences for children's memory but also for their psychological functioning more broadly, which can extend across development.

Sociocultural developmental approaches to autobiographical memory

“…The role of fathers and other caregivers, as well as examining families as units, would be welcome. We also need more research on families and children at risk (Salmon & Reese, ; Valentino, ). We began with a question that we did not know the answer to and sought just to observe and describe an interesting phenomenon.…”

The Parent Trauma Response Questionnaire (PTRQ): development and preliminary validation

“…Avoidant coping in the child is also likely to maintain fears (Marsac et al, 2016; Trickey et al, 2012). Conversely, providing opportunities for children to discuss the trauma, and positively reframe or confront trauma-related cues, may allow for negative appraisals to be addressed, anxiety responses to extinguish, and more complete trauma memories to be formed (Goodman, Rosenberg, Mueser, & Drake, 1997; Salmon & Reese, 2015). The broader child anxiety literature supports such potential for parents’ own maladaptive interpretations to influence anxiety in their child (e.g., Creswell, Shildrick, & Field, 2011).…”

Integration and differentiation of self through reminiscing and narrative

“…But the picture is a bit muddy; this holds only for positive and not negative events, and indirect elaborative expressions (e.g., “Mommy thinks she saw you hit your sister yesterday”) are related to poorer emotion regulation. Given that most research on mother–child reminiscing finds that discussing negative events provides the most traction in terms of developmental outcome (see Salmon & Reese, , for a review), it is unclear how to interpret this finding. Perhaps indirect linguistic expressions, which tax the child's cognitive abilities, become just too difficult when also discussing negative emotions, adding another layer of difficulty.…”