Talking with Fathers: The Inter-Relation of Significant Loss, Clinical Presentation in Children and Engagement of Fathers in Therapy

Abstract

Using clinical material this article attempts to make some links with symptoms presenting in children in a child psychiatry setting and aspects of their fathers' stories; a particular link is made with depression in the fathers. Hitherto depression in men has been under-researched. This article also attempts to highlight this issue as one of importance in the child psychiatry setting. Following a literature review six clinical cases are presented to amplify the points raised.

Fathers in parent-infant psychotherapy

“…Walters (1997), writing about the impact of a history of loss in the father's background, gives a similar clinical example of a wakeful child that was found to be linked to a profound grief reaction in the father. She concludes: "It is my clinical impression that fathers often present with a history of separation or loss that has not been addressed in an open way.…”

“…However, Walters (1997) notes that, "My experience has been that the fathers I have discussed, bar one, were all easily engaged in the context of their children's problems." Similarly, Watillon (1993), describing her parent -infant psychotherapy practice writes: "Fathers nowadays would appear to feel involved, accompanying the mother and child in at least 90 per cent of cases."…”

“…The author concluded, "although it is encouraging that 26% of studies during this time period obtained and analyzed data separately for fathers and mothers, the bias towards studying mothers and therefore implicitly blaming mothers for problems in their children has continued unabated" (cited in Walters, 1997). More recently, it is telling that while the index to the collection of papers in Murray and Cooper's latest book, Postpartum Depression and Child Development (1997), gives one listing for "Friends, as social support," there is no entry at all for fathers.…”

‘Too busy’? Father's attendance for family appointments

“…Although many men may find it difficult to express their feelings, talking about loss can sometimes be an acceptable way of expressing emotion. Certainly acknowledgement of this can be an important way of engaging both mothers and fathers (Walters, 1997). There is strong evidence (Bowlby, 1980;Holmes, 1993) of the relationship between acute loss and increased vulnerability to depression.…”

“…Bowlby's (1980) view that depression has a strong relationship with loss suggests that exploration of this may represent fruitful inroads for therapy with men as well as women. This theme is pursued in a paper by one of the authors (JW) referring to clinical work and men in families (Walters, 1997). Although no direct relationship was found between attendance rates and depression, it was perceived that concern about their child's difficulties and fathers' depression were linked.…”