This study was designed to provide initial empirical validation for the Five-Variable Psychiatric Screener (V-5), a five-variable (energy, depression, anxiety, pain, and fatigue) psychiatric screener based on the visual analog scaling method. The V-5 was administered twice (at the beginning and end of a neuropsychological battery) to 102 clinically referred patients and 32 student volunteers, in conjunction with established self-reported symptom inventories designed to measure depression, anxiety, and somatic concerns to serve as criterion variables. The V-5 was sensitive to time-related changes in mental stamina. It also effectively differentiated between the clinical and student samples. Finally, it was highly predictive of the criterion measures (area under the curve [AUC] = .62–.99). The proposed V-5 cutoffs for mild, moderate, and severe symptoms (≥20, ≥40, and ≥70) produced favorable classification accuracy. The generalizability of the findings is limited by the sample size and the choice of criterion measures. Replication in larger samples with different criterion tests is needed to establish the ecological validity of the V-5. Data from multiple analyses support the construct validity and clinical utility of the V-5. Given its low cost, quick and easy administration/scoring (<1 min), and minimal demands on the examinee (reading level, cognitive ability, motivation), the V-5 has the potential to become a cost-effective and empirically validated rapid assessment instrument in clinical and research settings requiring large-scale repeated testing. The generalizability of the V-5 must be evaluated through replication in geographically, demographically, clinically, and linguistically diverse samples before its widespread use can be recommended.