The cost of forgiveness: Observers prefer victims who leave unfaithful romantic partners

Abstract

Ninety-six male fraternity members (Study 1), 112 female voters (Study 2), and 219 undergraduates (Study 3) read scenarios in which a group representative forgave, retaliated, or left a romantic partner after the partner's sexual infidelity was publically revealed. Observers rated a victim who forgave his or her partner to be as mature as a victim who ended the relationship, but also as weaker and less competent. They rated a victim who forgave to be more mature but almost as weak and incompetent as a victim who retaliated. Symbolic concerns that the victim's behavior violated shared values (all three studies) or damaged the group's power/status (Study 3) mediated the relationship between victim behavior and victim ratings. These data demonstrate how the symbolic concerns that shape observers' judgments of an offender can extend to observers' judgments of the victim.

Judging extreme forgivers: How victims are perceived when they forgive the unforgivable

“…Judgment of the victim's character. Three single-item measures were used to assess the extent to which participants felt that the victim was competent, mature, and strong, based on concepts measured by Smith et al (2014). The questions were set up to look like comments on a link to the story in social media.…”

“…Evidence from research on romantic relationships suggests that third parties’ perceptions of victims are affected by whether the victim forgives or not, and that the severity of the event matters. Smith et al (2014) found that third parties judged a victim as weaker and less competent if she forgave a romantic partner for committing a sexual infidelity than if she did not forgive him. Similarly, DiDonato and colleagues found that, although victims of more severe offences (i.e.…”

“…This suggests that victim forgiveness must be seen as being appropriate for the situation in order to be considered admirable by third parties (Gromet and Okimoto, 2014). When a victim’s decision to offer or withhold forgiveness does not match the expectations of third parties, third parties might interpret it as a violation of shared values (Smith et al, 2014) and, hence, a justice failure (Zhu et al, 2012).…”

When Forgiveness Signals Power: Effects of Forgiveness Expression and Forgiver Gender

“…In addition, future research can seek to discover more third-party responses to forgiveness or to forgivers. Past research has examined perceptions of forgivers along dimensions other than power, including morality (see Adams et al, 2015) and maturity (H. Smith, Goode, Balzarini, Ryan, & Georges, 2014). Researchers can empirically test whether these perceptions are influenced by the communicative components of forgiveness.…”

“…Moreover, previous research has documented various behavioral responses to forgivers, such as continued aggression (McNulty, 2011;McNulty & Russell, 2016), compliance (Kelln & Ellard, 1999;M. X. Zheng et al, 2018), and endorsement (H. Smith et al, 2014). It would be interesting to explore whether perceived forgiver power can facilitate positive reactions other than cooperation or can deter negative behaviors toward forgivers as well.…”