The Development and Functioning of the Sense of Shame

Abstract

An extensive literature on shame has not yet sufficiently addressed the nature and functioning of this affect from the psychoanalytic, developmental point of view. This paper tries to lay the ground for such a task.

Narcissism as Motive

“…In distinguishing shame as an affect from its related narcissistic motivation, we might note that shame reflects a reaction to the failure to fulfill the narcissistic desire to measure up to the ideal, but it remains distinct from and secondary to narcissistic motives. It carries a burden of sensitivity and guardedness, as though there were a vulner-25 Developmental aspects of shame are discussed by Gillman (1990), Morrison (1989), Wurmser (1981), and Yorke (1990). 26 Avoidance of shame, along with guilt, anxiety, or any other self-threatening affect, is narcissistically motivated, in my view-usually with the purpose of sustaining or recovering a sense of self-esteem, self-worth, or self-integrity.…”

Anxiety: The importunate companion. Psychoanalytic theory of castration and separation anxieties and implications for clinical technique

“…In the young boy's exhibitionistic pride in his phallic power, the obverse fear of shame and humiliation is palpable. Yorke (1990) describes how pride hides its obverse: the anxious fear of shame and its influence on our defensive manoeuvres. In order to illustrate the power of these defensive strategies, Freud cites Nietzsche's famous comment: '''I did this,' says my Memory, 'I cannot have done this,' says my Pride and remains inexorable.…”

Shame in psychotherapy with adolescents

“…Shame seems to presuppose the existence of a second person (Wurmser, 1981). Yorke (1990) relies on mother-toddler observation in writing of a sense of shame on the part of the mother which is then transferred to the child through the mechanism of projective identification. The child links the awareness of external disapproval secondarily with shame, which is also guided socially through the parents.…”