The Discovery that an Offspring Is Gay: Parents', Gay Men's, and Lesbians' Perspectives

Abstract

This study explores and integrates parents', gay men's, and lesbians' perceptions of the "coming out" process. The research employed a sample of thirty-two gay and lesbian young adults and twenty-seven parents. It investigated how family dynamics prior to the discovery of homosexuality could be related to post-discovery experiences on parts of both children and parents. In-depth interviews were conducted with all participants. Two bodies of literature enriched the theoretical framework for this study: self-disclosure literature and the literature pertaining to homosexual identity formation. Findings of this study call for educating parents about homosexuality prior to the actual act of disclosure. Ensuring that parents do not learn about homosexuality while finding out that their child is gay potentially eases parents' adjustment to the discovery and thus may also improve the emotional dynamics within the family.

Siblings and the Coming-Out Process: A Comparative Case Study

“…This dialogue is consistent with findings that women tend to be more accepting than men when someone comes out to them (Ben-Ari, 1995;D'Augelli et al, 1998). Kevin's brothers initially had a difficult time accepting his sexuality.…”

“…The literature is quite unanimous about women being more likely to have positive attitudes toward LGBT people, which was consistent here (Ben-Ari, 1995;D'Augelli et al, 1998). Kevin noted that his stepsister and mother were accepting of his gay identity and that his mother accompanied him when he disclosed his sexual orientation to the men in his family as a means to provide an emotional buffer to potential negative responses.…”

“…The authors found that gender was important; fathers were more likely to react negatively to their child coming out than mothers, especially with gay sons, and fathers were less likely than mothers to be informed of their child's lesbian or gay identity altogether (Ben-Ari, 1995;Merighi & Grimes, 2000). Brothers also tended to react more negatively toward a gay sibling than sisters (D'Augelli, Hershberger, & Pilkington, 1998).…”

“…Researchers have set out to explore the specific role of gender (Ben-Ari, 1995;Merighi & Grimes, 2000), religion (Ahrold & Meston, 2010), and other cultural markers (Biaocco et al, 2015), but there remains a gap in the literature concerning the interactive influence of culture and family structure, as in the impact of race and ethnicity of the family, gender makeup of siblings, and how these factors work in unison and/or contrast to influence the family's response to a lesbian daughter or gay son. In the next section we review research on the specific role of siblings in the coming-out process.…”

A Critical Examination of the Experience of being a Gay Officer in the Masculinized Industry of Law Enforcement

“…Commonly known as "coming out" among gay men, disclosure can be confusing and difficult Ben-Ari, 1995). Many gay men begin making choices in adolescence regarding how and when to disclose and to whom.…”