The Ghost of Violence: The Lived Experience of Violence After the Act

Abstract

Based on ethnographic fieldwork and thematic analysis, this article explores how violence is lived after violent events have taken place, and how it shapes women’s everyday lives post-separation. First, the analysis shows how violence is negotiated in the context of a women’s refuge, shaping women’s perceptions of themselves and their experiences. Second, it explores how the potential of violence taking place can influence women’s everyday lives, and third, how past acts of violence can become part of the present atmosphere of everyday life. This raises questions about the meaning of time in analyses of violence.

Does time heal all wounds? How is children’s exposure to intimate partner violence related to their current internalizing symptoms?

“…We would recommend continuing to develop intervention strategies focused on both the clinical and emotional state of the mothers and their children and the mother–child relationship after separation from the violent relationship ( Graham-Bermann and Miller-Graff, 2015 ; Galano et al, 2021 ), paying particular attention to the cognitive assessment of both of them with regard to perceived current risk, as well as the emotional bond and security (mother–child/ren) following the process of separation/re-establishment and eventual termination of the violent relationship. Furthermore, these findings support previous studies ( Henze-Pedersen, 2022 ), in terms of the need to recognize how violence and memories of violence are experienced by women and their children after IPV cessation, as well as the need to un-blame mothers for their own symptoms of depression and anxiety and the consequences these might have on their children’s adjustment. That is, to recognize that mothers’ and children’s symptoms are primarily consequences of a severe trauma and the harm inflicted by the perpetrator.…”

“…Overall, the results suggest that exposure to IPV in itself represents a continuing unease over time with significant longterm consequences, where simple separation from the aggressor does not necessarily facilitate an improvement in the child's wellbeing. The findings suggest that the adjustment and pathology of these children are conditioned by a complex process, influenced by the effect of revictimization experiences and stress sustained even after the mother has ended her violent relationship (Hayes, 2017;Baird et al, 2021;Henze-Pedersen, 2022). In this sense, one of the main contributions of the study has been to note that the endurance of high levels of maladjustment over time is not only characteristic of children seen in shelters or by social service agencies following exposure to IPV who may be affected by other additional elements of stress that would justify this (e.g., separation from the home) but can also be observed in children who remain in their homes in a relatively stable context (Jouriles et al, 2014;Graham-Bermann and Miller-Graff, 2015).…”

“…In order to obtain a more comprehensive view of the way children respond to exposure to IPV, it seems necessary to include in the analyses not only the cumulative value of past trauma and the passage of time itself ( Bonanno, 2004 ; De La Vega et al, 2013 ; Castro et al, 2017 ; Berg et al, 2022 ), but also variables related to the context in which children develop once their mothers have separated from the aggressor that could affect children´ adjustment over time ( Miller et al, 2012 ). In this regard, recent findings have emphasized that, in a manner similar to what the mothers have experienced, children’s exposure to IPV would take on different forms, resulting in continued experiences of revictimization (e.g., re-establishment of the mother-aggressor relationship and exposure to new violence events or exposure to multiple violent events at the hands of more than one partner against their mother) and stress sustained after the end of the violent relationship (e.g., maternal pathology or emotional insecurity associated with the mother’s anxious anticipation of potential future aggressions) likely to influence the endurance of pathological levels of anxiety and depression over time ( Baird et al, 2021 ; D’Amore et al, 2021 ; Henze-Pedersen, 2022 ).…”

Post‐separation abuse: A concept analysis

“…Past experiences of violence cast a long shadow, producing a mental state where fear of the perpetrator is always present, leading to the inability to escape in time, place and space ( Henze-Pedersen, 2021 ; Humphreys et al, 2019 ; Katz et al, 2020 ). Although a survivor may be separated in physical space, technology allows perpetrators to overcome geographical boundaries ( Markwick et al, 2019 ; Messing et al, 2020 ).…”

‘Because I love him’: Children’s relationships to their parents in the context of intimate partner violence

“…Callaghan et al, 2018; Øverlien, 2010; Stanley et al, 2012). I use the term ‘intimate partner violence’ because it addresses violence that takes place in different types of relationships and settings but importantly in the intimate sphere (see also Henze-Pedersen, 2021). For the sake of convenience, I refer to the children’s birth fathers as fathers and the mothers’ new partners as stepfathers throughout.…”