It is increasingly likely that many non-communicable diseases of humans and associated animals are due to the degradation of their intestinal microbiomes, a situation often referred to as dysbiosis. An analysis of the resultant diseases offers an opportunity to probe the function of these microbial partners of multicellular animals. In our view, it now seems likely that vertebrate animals and their microbiomes have coevolved throughout the Ediacaran–Cambrian transition and beyond, operating by semiochemical messaging between the multicellular host and its microbial community guest. A consideration of the overall role of the mutualistic intestinal microbiome as an enclosed bioreactor throws up a variety of challenging concepts. In particular: the significance of the microbiome with respect to the immune system suggests that microeukaryotes could act as microbial sentinel cells; the ubiquity of bacteriophage viruses implies the rapid turnover of microbial composition by a viral-shunt mechanism; and high microbial diversity is needed to ensure that horizontal gene transfer allows valuable genetic functions to be expressed. We have previously postulated that microbes of sufficient diversity must be transferred from mother to infant by seemingly accidental contamination during the process of natural birth. We termed this maternal microbial inheritance and suggested that it operates alongside parental genetic inheritance to modify gene expression. In this way, the adjustment of the neonate immune system by the microbiome may represent one of the ways in which the genome of a vertebrate animal interacts with its microbial environment. The absence of such critical functions in the neonate may help to explain the observation of persistent immune-system problems in affected adults. Equally, granted that the survival of the guest microbiome depends on the viability of its host, one function of microbiome-generated semiochemicals could be to facilitate the movement of food through the digestive tract, effectively partitioning nutrition between host and guest. In the event of famine, downregulation of microbial growth and therefore of semiochemical production would allow all available food to be consumed by the host. Although it is often thought that non-communicable diseases, such as type 2 diabetes, are caused by consumption of food containing insufficient dietary fibre, our hypothesis suggests that poor-quality food is not the prime cause but that the tendency for disease follows the degradation of the intestinal microbiome, when fat build-up occurs because the relevant semiochemicals can no longer be produced. It is the purpose of this paper to highlight the possibility that the origins of the microbiome lie in the Precambrian and that the disconnection of body and microbiome gives rise to non-communicable disease through the loss of semiochemical signalling. We further surmise that this disconnect has been largely brought about by heavy metal poisoning, potentially illuminating a facet of the exposome, the sum total of environmental insults that influence the expression of the genetic inheritance of an animal.