The Limited Construction of an Egalitarian Masculinity

Abstract

According to dominant cultural representations, masculinity in heterosexual relationships is signified by men's dominance, aggression, sexual promiscuity, and emotional unavailability. Yet, the preferred way of doing masculinity is context-specific, and middle-class men face increasing expectations that they engage in egalitarian relationships. In this study, I use in-depth interviews with thirty-one college-educated, heterosexual men to examine how they construct their masculinity under changing social conditions. My findings show that men use egalitarian narratives as a form of identity work in which they construct understandings of themselves as progressive, caring, and respectful of women, in contrast to the majority of men, whom they ascribe with stereotypical male traits. However, these egalitarian narratives serve as a shield, allowing men to dismiss inequalities that emerge in their romantic relationships as the result of individual preferences so that gendered outcomes are allowed to go unquestioned, thereby leaving gender inequalities intact.

“That’s creepy, dude": Disciplining desire and making masculine selves in the sexual moment

“…However, beyond a search for emotional authenticity, some have suggested that men's actual feelings about sexual intimacy are much more complex, and men express a feeling of anxiety around desires for sexual and emotional intimacy (Seal and Ehrhardt 2003), anxiety that still manifests in the perpetuation of gender inequality (Lamont 2015). I demonstrate below the ways that this anxiety manifests in the figure of the creep, with mixed results.…”

“…Connell 2005;Messerschmidt 2018) pervades men's popular media (K. Green and Oort 2013;Tan et al 2013;Messner and Montez de Oca 2005), and clear-cut sexual scripts privilege the development of unemotional masculine selves (Montemurro and Riehman-Murphy 2018). However, the modern, masculine self seems ambivalent on the subject of sexual intimacy and emotions (Lamont 2015;Eisen and Yamashita 2017). On the one hand, it would seem, according to some sociologists, that men may be looking for more emotional authenticity in their sexual experiences.…”

Hybrid Masculinity and Young Men’s Circumscribed Engagement in Contraceptive Management

“…More specifically related to reproduction, pressures to conform to hegemonic masculinity are associated with the expectation that men generally lack concern about physical and psychological health (Addis and Mahalik 2003; de Visser and Smith 2006; de Visser, Smith, and McDonnell 2009) and espouse a predatory, hypersexual heterosexuality (Pascoe 2006; Schrock and Schwalbe 2009). Thus, more egalitarian expressions of masculinity may be tied to greater involvement in and support for contraception, although this does not always entail substantial change in unequal power distribution between men and women (Lamont 2015). There is a growing literature on hybrid masculinities, which suggests that men negotiate masculinity in ways that mirror more inclusive behaviors and attitudes but leave larger hegemonic systems sustaining unequal gender relations between men and women undisturbed (Bridges and Pascoe 2014; Connell and Messerschmidt 2005; Messerschmidt 2010; Messner 2007).…”

“…For example, men whose partners have higher earning potential may make up for the perceived loss of masculinity by demonstrating athletic prowess. Further, young men may use egalitarian narratives when they describe their relationships with women, but often these narratives mask extant inequalities while retaining men’s gendered identities as progressive, egalitarian men (Lamont 2015). In one of the few studies about men’s supportive behaviors in reversible contraception, Fennell (2011) interviewed 30 young adults to show how men take responsibility for condoms and women for other methods, reflecting women’s continued place in the domestic sphere.…”

“…Contrary to men refusing to be involved in contraceptive management or denying women’s right to make reproductive decisions, we find that some men can mobilize a feminist discourse and enact a more egalitarian masculinity, insofar as they help partners with mutual reproductive goals and support women’s control over their own bodies. This varies from traditional expressions of masculinity (Connell 2005; Lamont 2015), where men disengage from contraceptive management or engage in ways that infringe on women’s reproductive agency, such as contraceptive sabotage where men destroy a partner’s contraceptive method (e.g., flushing contraceptive pills down the toilet) (Northridge et al 2017). However, young men also mobilize a patriarchal discourse, leaving the ultimate responsibility for unintended pregnancy prevention to women, and blaming women when contraception fails and mutual reproductive goals are not achieved (Oudshoorn 2004).…”