The self-fulfilling nature of positive illusions in romantic relationships: Love is not blind, but prescient.

Abstract

S a n d r a L. M u r r a y University of Michigan J o h n G . H o l m e s University of Waterloo D a l e W. G r i f f i n University of Sussex It is proposed that satisfying, stable relationships reflect intimates' ability to see imperfect partners in idealized ways. In this study of the long-term benefits (or possible costs) of positive illusions, both members of dating couples completed measures of idealization and well-being 3 times in a year. Path analyses revealed that idealization had a variety of self-fulfilling effects. Relationships were most likely to persist--even in the face of conflicts and doubts--when intimates idealized one another the most. Intimates who idealized one another more initially also reported relatively greater increases in satisfaction and decreases in conflicts and doubts over the year. Finally, individuals even came to share their partners' idealized images of them. In summary, intimates who idealized one another appeared more prescient than blind, actually creating the relationships they wished for as romances progressed.Love to faults is always blind,

Transitions in romantic relationships and development of self-esteem.

“…Research suggests that individuals with high self-esteem show more constructive relationship behavior, which reduces the likelihood of conflicts and break-up (Murray et al, 1996a(Murray et al, , 1996b. In contrast, individuals with low self-esteem tend to show problematic behaviors such as excessive reassurance seeking, interpret ambiguous behavior of their partners negatively, and reduce closeness to the partner in times of relationship conflict (Joiner et al, 1999;Murray et al, 2000;Murray et al, 2002).…”

“…For example, individuals with low self-esteem might have a greater probability of experiencing separation and divorce, since they tend to interpret ambiguous behavior of their partners negatively, reduce closeness to the partner in times of relationship conflict, and show problematic behaviors such as excessive reassurance seeking (Joiner, Katz, & Lew, 1999;Murray, Holmes, & Griffin, 2000;Murray, Rose, Bellavia, Holmes, & Kusche, 2002). In contrast, people with high self-esteem show more positive illusions about their romantic relationship, which contributes to relationship ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS AND SELF-ESTEEM DEVELOPMENT 6 satisfaction and reduces the likelihood of break-up and divorce (Murray, Holmes, & Griffin, 1996a, 1996b. Furthermore, research suggests that self-esteem influences whether a person experiences success or failure in many life domains (Kuster et al, 2013;Orth et al, 2012;Trzesniewski et al, 2006), including the domain of romantic relationships (Orth et al, 2012).…”

Partner enhancement versus verification and emotional responses to daily conflict

“…According to self-verification theory, individuals seek information that confirms existing self-views and are more intimate with marriage partners who confirm these views (Swann et al, 1994). However, research on positive illusions suggests that being viewed by one's partner in an overly positive manner is more beneficial than being viewed accurately (Fowers, Lyons, Montel, & Shaked, 2001;Murray et al, 1996aMurray et al, , 1996b. To date, studies of self-verification and idealization have largely focused on global outcomes associated with such states.…”

O ciúme romântico atua como uma profecia autorrealizadora da infidelidade amorosa?

“…Como as profecias autorrealizadoras são, em resumo, definidas como crenças, em potencial, capazes de exercer influência sobre o outro, de maneira que B se engaje em algum comportamento (ou mesmo mude de atitude) de acordo com o que A deseja e/ou tem por meta (Copeland, 1994;Murray, Holmes & Griffin, 1996), pode-se considerar o ciúme como uma profecia autorrealizadora, nos moldes concebidos por Rosenthal e Jacobson (1968), ou mesmo Merton (1948). Em outras palavras, existem algumas situações afetivo-sexuais nas quais se instala insidiosamente um alienante e possessivo ciúme do parceiro, que acaba por interferir e molestar a liberdade do outro companheiro, alvo desse apego exagerado, que pode resultar em elementos de gradual distanciamento do casal.…”

“…As expectativas sobre os comportamentos podem se transformarem em profecias autorrealizadoras. Essas profecias são crenças que afetam os comportamentos e que, dessa forma, aumentam as chances de ocorrer aquilo em que se crê ou que se teme (Brophy, 1983;Copeland, 1994;Murray, Holmes & Griffin, 1996).…”