The Self-perpetuating Cycle of Shame and Self-injury

Abstract

Although previous studies have considered shame to be a significant emotion in making sense of self-injury, the connection is still not fully understood. Drawing on sociological ideas on shame, this communication contributes to a theoretical understanding of actions of self-injury by demonstrating how shame operates and unfolds in social interaction. It argues for how shame and self-injury may reproduce and amplify each other, hence turning into a self-perpetuating cycle of shame and self-injury. It shows how shame is triggered in social interaction, how shame leads to self-injury, and how self-injury may turn into more shame. Self-injury is used to fend off shame by upholding social and cultural commitments and maintaining social bonds with others. However, self-injury may also threaten social order and social bonds and, consequently, trigger more shame. The most important reason that self-injury does not fully work as emotion work, and internalized social control, lies in the interactive cycle of shame, that is, you feel shame and cut, you cut again and are (a)shamed, you are shamed and cut, and so on. It is proposed that people who self-injure do not necessarily lack the ability to self-soothe or regulate emotions or that they suffer from a clinical psychopathology.

The Activation and Restoration of Shame in an Intimate Relationship: A First-Hand Account of Self-Injury

“…This means expressing one's shame is a functional means of lessening shame. However, if individuals do not know that it is shame they experience, it becomes impossible to negotiate and solve problems within interactions and relationships, hence leading to alienation and risk for suicide, self-injury, and mental illnesses (Retzinger 2002;Gunnarsson 2020).…”

“…I also began to ponder more seriously about shame as a possible core emotion in self-injury, and the possibility that it could explicate the seemingly inexplicable act of physically injuring one's body. This resulted later on in an article that explored shame as an explanation to why individuals physically hurt themselves (Gunnarsson 2020).…”

“…Finally, it was through the other's validation and justification of the self, which mended my self-image that made it possible for me to reconnect with my partner again. As it was not always possible to be validated by the other, self-injury became a way to validate myself, or a way to restore shame and myself, to be able to go on with my life and interact with others and fulfill my different social and cultural commitments (Gunnarsson 2020).…”

“…I write that at that moment, my common sense "is blown away in the affective storm." I am left within the storm of my affects; I am caught in my shame and the shame cycle (Gunnarsson 2020).…”

“…He or she can thus control the self and go on with everyday life (Brossard 2018). However, because self-injury is a stigmatized practice (Long 2018), it tends to lead to more shame, thus disrupting the social order (Gunnarsson 2020). In this firsthand account, I illustrate how shame was activated by my internalized critical other, how the shame cycle de-stabilized my relationship, and, finally, how shame was restored through the other's validation and acceptance, or how it led to more shame managed by self-injury.…”