The Single Woman's Choice as a Zero-Sum Game

Abstract

THE SINGLE WOMAN'S CHOICE AS A ZERO-SUM GAMECultural scholars are paying increasing attention to the ways in which choice has become a cultural obligation deeply ingrained in neoliberal, post-feminist, therapeutic and consumerist norms. Drawing insights from this literature, this paper first charts the changing discourse on choice, and then goes on to both examine and challenge the centrality of the rhetoric of choice in contemporary discourses of singlehood and single women. In my analysis, the idea of choice is posited as a multivalent signifier dependent on changing social contexts and denoting shifting aspects of feminine subjectivity and personal relations. It is my aim thereby to problematize notions of choice and singlehood, as well as to question the cultural processes that produce them. To do so, I probe the discursive relations that produce distinctive clusters of meanings, as well as the tensions and contradictions that emerge around them. Such a reading emerges from a contentbased analysis of readers' comments and responses to an online Internet column depicting the various advantages of being 'single-by-choice'. The findings show that while choice can be a discursive force that enables single women to resist traditional family forms and establish their chosen subjectivities, the centrality of choice in the construction of intimate relations today also casts in doubt and paradoxically delegitimizes single women's option of autonomy and individuality. Some of the social interpretations of choice denote that single women are endowed with a partial and incomplete subjectivity, while according to other stances the choice of singlehood signifies a radical option for claiming singlehood as a longterm way of life. However, the aim of the critique proposed here is not merely to deconstruct the discursive mechanism that delegitimizes singlehood, but also to point out some of the potential limitations emerging from the new counterdiscourse of chosen singlehood.

The terror of the single old maid: On the insolubility of a cultural category

“…3 We thank the anonymous reviewer for this point. 4 For a detailed discussion of the need to compromise and the ramifications it has on single women's agency, see Lahad (2014).…”

“…Indeed, one of the central aims of scholarly literature concerning single women in recent years is to respond to this kind of criticism, and deflate(?) some of the stereotypical attitudes attached to single women (Byrne, 2009;Chandler, 1991;DePaulo, 2006;Lahad, 2013Lahad, , 2014Reynolds, 2008;Reynolds & Wetherell, 2003;Trimberger, 2005). Most of these studies reveal that despite the fundamental changes in family life that have occurred over the last thirty years, most of the historically-noted stereotypes towards single women remain as relevant as ever.…”

“…Most of these studies reveal that despite the fundamental changes in family life that have occurred over the last thirty years, most of the historically-noted stereotypes towards single women remain as relevant as ever. A considerable number of studies have disclosed that single women are still very much represented as lonely, miserable and ugly (for example, DePaulo, 2006;Lahad, 2013;Trimberger, 2005), or stubborn and overly selective (Byrne, 2008;Lahad, 2013Lahad, , 2014.…”

‘I don’t think this woman had anyone in her life’: Loneliness and singlehood in Six Feet Under

“…They struck what seems to be social nerve: the narrative of the single woman who ages and dies alone, not to be discovered until a great deal of time afterwards. The social warning inherent in these texts cannot be any clearer: living alone as a single woman above a certain age can lead to the ultimate social punishment: loneliness, isolation and a lonely death (Lahad, 2014). Another interesting feature of the 'old maid who died alone' image is that while it places emphasis on what is constructed as the death of the lonely woman, it overlooks the gloomy image of a blasé and indifferent society.…”

“…Another interesting feature of the 'old maid who died alone' image is that while it places emphasis on what is constructed as the death of the lonely woman, it overlooks the gloomy image of a blasé and indifferent society. This outlook, one infused with strong overtones of panic, allocates the blame to single women themselves, who are held responsible for their 'inability' to 'unsingle' themselves (DePaulo, 2006;Lahad, 2013Lahad, , 2014.…”