The evolution of human life history characteristics required dramatic shifts in energy allocation mechanisms compared with our primate ancestors. Thyroid hormones, such as thyroxine (T4) and triiodothyronine (T3), are sensitive to energy balance, and are significant determinants for both tissue‐specific and whole‐body metabolic rate. Thus, thyroid hormones are in part responsible for setting the body's overall energy budget and likely played an important role in the evolution of human life history patterns. We propose that the dynamics of mammalian T3 production, uptake, and action have evolved so that energy allocation prioritizes the high demands of brain development and functioning, often at the expense of growth and reproduction. This paper explores the role of thyroid hormone dynamics in the evolution of human encephalization, prolonged childhood and adolescence, long lifespans, reproduction, and human aging.