Decompressive hemicraniectomy (DHC) is a critical procedure used to alleviate elevated intracranial pressure (ICP) in emergent situations. It is typically performed to create space for the swelling brain and to prevent dangerous and potentially fatal increases in ICP. DHC is indicated for pathologies ranging from MCA stroke to traumatic subarachnoid hemorrhage—essentially any cause of refractory brain swelling and elevated ICPs. Scalp incisions for opening and closing the soft tissues during DHC are crucial to achieve optimal outcomes by promoting proper wound healing and minimizing surgical site infections (SSIs). Though the reverse question mark (RQM) scalp incision has gained significant traction within neurosurgical practice, alternatives—including the retroauricular (RA) and Kempe incisions—have been proposed. As choice of technique can impact postoperative outcomes and complications, we sought to compare outcomes associated with different scalp incision techniques used during DHC. We queried three databases according to PRISMA guidelines in order to identify studies comparing outcomes between the RQM versus “alternative” scalp incision techniques for DHC. Our primary outcome of interest in the present study was postoperative wound infection rates according to scalp incision type. Secondary outcomes included estimated blood loss (EBL) and operative duration. We identified seven studies eligible for inclusion in the formal meta-analysis. The traditional RQM technique shortened operative times by 36.56 min, on average. Additionally, mean EBL was significantly lower when the RQM scalp incision was used. Postoperatively, there was no significant association between DHC incision type and mean intensive care unit (ICU) length of stay (LOS), nor was there a significant difference in predisposition to developing wound complications or infections between the RQM and retroauricular/Kempe incision cohorts. Superficial temporal artery (STA) preservation and reoperation rates were collected but could not be analyzed due to insufficient number of studies reporting these outcomes. Our meta-analysis suggests that there is no significant difference between scalp incision techniques as they relate to surgical site infection and wound complications. At present, it appears that outcomes following DHC can be improved by ensuring that the bone flap is large enough to enable sufficient cerebral expansion and decompression of the temporal lobe, the latter of which is of particular importance. Although previous studies have suggested that there are several advantages to performing alternative scalp incision techniques during DHC, the present study (which is to our knowledge the first to meta-analyze the literature on outcomes in DHC by scalp incision type) does not support these findings. As such, further investigations in the form of prospective trials with high statistical power are merited.