Despite growing recognition that systemic family therapists need to be adept at personal reflection and managing the therapeutic relationship, little research has explored the effects of training beyond the development of skills. This article provides a report on a qualitative study focussed on the personal effects of family therapy training, with particular reference to the aspects of training that foster personal reflection and growth. Twenty three trainees from three training institutions were interviewed, utilizing the practices of grounded theory. Trainees reported a deepening relational awareness, which applied to both personal and professional domains and included shifts in perspectives on relationships with loved ones. Five aspects of training were identified as responsible: (1) personally challenging experiences with clients; (2) supervisors who live the paradigm; (3) the demystification of theory; (4) a safe supervisory space; and (5) the development of trusting peer relationships. Interns also described, in turn, how their personal development affected their clinical work, particularly in the development of compassion and empathy. This study serves to highlight training practices that support reflective practice in systemic family therapy.Keywords Family therapy Á Self of the therapist Á Personal development I'm practising what I'm preaching, do you know what I mean? (Jane)In the past decade there has been a growth in interest regarding the self of the therapist in the training and supervision of systemic family therapy. Mason et al. (2002) noted that one of the criteria for family therapy training courses in the UK includes the requirement for the exploration of trainees' families of origin and culture, and how family-related issues may help and/or limit them as therapists. Rhodes et al. (2008) describe how opportunities for personal reflection are maximised in their own training practice through the inclusion of a definitional ceremony (White 2000) at the beginning of the program, the implementation