Unconditional Regard Buffers Children’s Negative Self-Feelings

Abstract

BACKGROUND: Unconditional regard refers to the feeling that one is accepted and valued by others without conditions. Psychological theory suggests that experiences of unconditional regard lead children to feel that they are valuable despite setbacks. We hypothesized that reflecting on experiences of unconditional regard would buffer children’s negative self-feelings (eg, shame, insecurity, powerlessness) in the face of setbacks. To test this hypothesis, we randomized children to reflect on experiences of unconditional regard or other experiences, and examined their response to an academic setback 3 weeks later. METHODS: Participants (11–15 years old) were randomly assigned to reflect for 15 minutes on experiences of unconditional regard (n = 91), conditional regard (n = 80), or other social experiences (n = 76). Research personnel, teachers, and classmates remained blind to condition assignment. Three weeks later, after receiving their course grades, children reported their self-feelings. Course grades were obtained from school records. Receiving low course grades represents a salient and painful real-world setback for children. RESULTS: Replicating previous research, children who received lower grades experienced more negative self-feelings (P < .001). As predicted, this well-established relationship was significantly attenuated among children who had reflected, 3 weeks previously, on experiences of unconditional regard (Ps < .03). Reflecting on unconditional regard specifically reduced negative self-feelings after low grades (P = .01), not after average or high grades (Ps > .17). CONCLUSIONS: Reflecting on unconditional regard buffered children’s selves against the adverse impact of an academic setback over an extended period of time. Unconditional regard may thus be an important psychological lever to reduce negative self-feelings in youth.

How does Conditional Regard Impact Well-being and Eagerness to Learn? An Experimental Study

“…Also, failing students were less eager to learn than successful students. More importantly and in line with our hypotheses based on indirect evidence from previous research (e.g., Baldwin & Sinclair, 1996; Brummelman et al, 2014), we found that conditional regard magnifies success- and failure-induced changes in positive affect. When the regard of the experimenter was conditional, students who experienced success showed an increase in positive affect, whereas no significant change occurred when regard was not related to performance.…”

“…One other field experimental study asked secondary school students to imagine a situation in which they experienced unconditional regard (i.e., regard provided regardless of students’ behavior or performance), conditional regard, or another social event. This study found that lower grades (received three weeks after the manipulation) only resulted in more negative feelings for students who had not imagined unconditional regard (Brummelman et al, 2014). …”

“…Building on extant research (e.g., Assor et al, 2004; Assor & Tal, 2012; Baldwin & Sinclair, 1996; Brummelman et al, 2014), we designed an experiment to investigate the moderating role of CNR and CPR in the effect of performance on students’ self-esteem, affect and eagerness to learn. In the experiment, psychology freshmen were led to believe that they succeeded or failed on a digit span task (using manipulated false performance scores).…”

A conceptual framework for the neurobiological study of resilience

“…Such negative self-feelings, in turn, increase students' risk for later depression and anxiety (Sowislo & Orth 2013). Brummelman et al (2014a) designed a 15minute intervention to prevent secondary-school students from seeing failure as a threat to their self-worth. Students reflected on times when they were accepted and valued by others unconditionally.…”

Serving High-Risk Youth in Context: Perspectives from Hong Kong

“…So, we want to empower young people, and we believe that once we give them reliable information and provide them room to discuss these issues, they can make their own choices. These approaches have been found effective in buffering the at-risk youth's negative self-image, cultivating a trusting relationship between the practitioner and the youth, and engaging the youth in healthy activities (Brummelman et al, 2014;Lee, 2013;Shea, & Jackson, 2015).…”