In this paper we present a unified framework for constructing spectrally equivalent low-orderrefined discretizations for the high-order finite element de Rham complex. This theory covers diffusion problems in H 1 , H(curl), and H(div), and is based on combining a low-order discretization posed on a refined mesh with a high-order basis for Nédélec and Raviart-Thomas elements that makes use of the concept of polynomial histopolation (polynomial fitting using prescribed mean values over certain regions). This spectral equivalence, coupled with algebraic multigrid methods constructed using the low-order discretization, results in highly scalable matrix-free preconditioners for high-order finite element problems in the full de Rham complex. Additionally, a new lowest-order (piecewise constant) preconditioner is developed for highorder interior penalty discontinuous Galerkin (DG) discretizations, for which spectral equivalence results and convergence proofs for algebraic multigrid methods are provided. In all cases, the spectral equivalence results are independent of polynomial degree and mesh size; for DG methods, they are also independent of the penalty parameter. These new solvers are flexible and easy to use; any "black-box" preconditioner for low-order problems can be used to create an effective and efficient preconditioner for the corresponding high-order problem. A number of numerical experiments are presented, using the finite element library MFEM, with which the construction of such preconditioners requires only one or two lines of code. The theoretical properties of these preconditioners are corroborated, and the flexibility and scalability of the method are demonstrated on a range of challenging three-dimensional problems.