Anisotropic hopping in a toy Hofstadter model was recently invoked to explain a rich and surprising Landau spectrum measured in twisted bilayer graphene away from the magic angle. Suspecting that such anisotropy could arise from unintended uniaxial strain, we extend the Bistritzer-MacDonald model to include uniaxial heterostrain. We find that such strain strongly influences band structure, shifting the three otherwise-degenerate van Hove points to different energies. Coupled to a Boltzmann magnetotransport calculation, this reproduces previously-unexplained non-saturating B 2 magnetoresistance over broad ranges of density near filling ν = ±2, and predicts subtler features that had not been noticed in the experimental data. In contrast to these distinctive signatures in longitudinal resistivity, the Hall coefficient is barely influenced by strain, to the extent that it still shows a single sign change on each side of the charge neutrality point -surprisingly, this sign change no longer occurs at a van Hove point. The theory also predicts a marked rotation of the electrical transport principal axes as a function of filling even for fixed strain and for rigid bands. More careful examination of interaction-induced nematic order versus strain effects in twisted bilayer graphene could thus be in order.