Walk the Line: How Successful Are Efforts to Maintain Monogamy in Intimate Relationships?

Abstract

Monogamy, typically defined as sexual and romantic exclusivity to one partner, is a near-universal expectation in committed intimate relationships in Western societies. Attractive alternative partners are a common threat to monogamous relationships. However, little is known about how individuals strive to protect their relationships from tempting alternatives, particularly those embedded in one’s social network. The current exploratory study was guided by the Investment Model, which states that satisfaction, investments, and perceived alternatives to a relationship predict commitment, which in turn predicts relationship longevity. The study aimed to identify relationship and extradyadic attraction characteristics associated with monogamy maintenance efforts, specifically relationship commitment, as predicted by the Investment Model. The efficacy of monogamy maintenance efforts was assessed via sexual and emotional infidelity measures at a 2-month follow-up. U.S. adults in heterosexual intimate relationships ( N = 287; 50.2% male; M age = 34.5 years; M relationship length = 87 months) were recruited online to complete the survey study. Through structural equation modelling, the Investment Model structure was replicated, and relationship commitment predicted use of relationship-enhancing efforts as well as self-monitoring/derogation efforts. Individuals who experienced reciprocated attraction used significantly more avoidance and self-monitoring/derogation efforts than did those who experienced unreciprocated attraction. Ultimately, monogamy maintenance efforts did not significantly predict success in maintaining monogamy at follow-up. These findings have important research, educational, and clinical implications relating to relationship longevity.

Monogamy as Public Policy for STD Prevention: In Theory and in Practice

“…Although reported rates of infidelity vary widely study-to-study (Conley et al, 2012; Haseli et al, 2019), certainly cheating is not rare (Brandon, 2016; Lee & O’Sullivan, 2019). Within infidelity cases, the individual versus mutual monogamy distinction is not purely semantic; it has concrete implications.…”

Quality of alternatives positively associated with interest in opening up a relationship

“…In Western societies, monogamy, defined as sexual and emotional exclusivity to one romantic partner, is the most socially practiced and approved form of romantic bonding (Anderson, 2010; Conley et al, 2013; Lee & O'Sullivan, 2019), and a vast majority of married and cohabitating couples report expecting sexual exclusivity in their romantic relationships (Treas & Giesen, 2000). Indeed, although monogamy is hardly a cultural universal, it does appear to be a valued feature of many societies, particularly those marked by industrialization (Dow & Eff, 2013; Scheidel, 2009).…”

“…6 6 Given the potential role of relationship length in monogamy maintenance strategies such as derogation of attractive alternatives (Lee & O'Sullivan, 2019), we also explored whether the primary effects we found across the three studies (the associations between quality of alternatives and CNM variables) were moderated by relationship length. However, there was little evidence for the moderating effect of relationship length as only one interaction emerged as significant among 18 possible interactions (six per study). …”

Infidelity treatment from an integrative behavioral couple therapy perspective: Explanatory model and intervention strategies

“…Infidelity is a common and often devastating problem in marital and other committed romantic relationships. It most commonly refers to “the participation in sexual acts with partner(s) outside of one's committed romantic relationship where an agreement to maintain sexual exclusivity is in place” (Lee & O'Sullivan, 2019, p. 1736). However, the definition of infidelity can vary according to the couple.…”