Wanting ‘the whole loaf’: zero-sum thinking about love is associated with prejudice against consensual non-monogamists

Abstract

Consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) is a relationship in which individuals agree that romantic or sexual relationships with others is permissible or desirable (e.g., polyamory or open relationships). Although anti-CNM prejudice is prevalent, it is not well understood. We propose that one of the bases of anti-CNM prejudice is zero-sum thinking about love-the perception that one person's love gained is another's love lost. We outline our theory and then present three studies that test our predictions. In these studies, participants read a vignette that depicted characters who were in a CNM or monogamous relationship, and then judged aspects of the characters and their relationship. In Study 1, participants who read the CNM vignette judged the protagonist's love for their initial romantic partner before and after they became involved with a second partner. Zero-sum thinking was operationally defined as the within-subject change in love ratings. In Studies 2 and 3, participants rated their agreement with items from a new preliminary measure of zero-sum romantic beliefs. We measured CNM devaluation by asking for ratings of the relationships and of individuals in the relationships. Supporting our predictions, in all three studies we found that zero-sum thinking about love was associated with increased CNM devaluation. We end by briefly discussing the implications of our findings.

A Decade Review of Sex and Partnering in Adolescence and Young Adulthood

“…This data source platform was developed in 2005 and allows for the convenience of sampling potentially large numbers of participants from around the world (Ipeirotis, 2010). Although some studies on dating, technology use and relationship experiences, sexual expectations, and hooking up have used MTurk samples (e.g., Hadden, Agnew, & Tan, 2018;LeFebvre, 2018;Olmstead, Norona, & Anders, 2019), studies on CNM in particular have heavily relied on this source as a means of collecting data (Burleigh, Rubel, & Meegan, 2017;Hutzler, Giuliano, Herselman, & Johnson, 2016). Another common source of data collection for studies on CNM is the use of online advertisements at sites such as Craigslist.com and social networking sites such as Facebook (e.g., .…”

“…Several studies in the past decade have sought to understand more fully individuals' attitudes toward CNM relationships. These studies often focus on perceptions of those involved in different types of CNM relationships and have measured attitudes in a variety of ways, often using vignettes or hypothetical scenarios (e.g., Burleigh et al, ; Cohen, ; Grunt‐Mejer & Campbell, ). In 2013, Conley, Moors, et al () used four studies to sequentially examine perceptions of CNM relationships and draw comparisons to monogamous relationships.…”

“How Do They Even Know They Love?” The Image of Polyamory in Polish Expert Discourse

“…trustworthiness, or orientation towards other), lower cognitive abilities (e.g. intelligence, coping in difficult situations, Burleigh et al, 2017;Conley et al, 2013;Grunt-Mejer & Campbell, 2016;Grunt-Mejer & Łyś, 2019;Hutzler et al, 2016;Thompson, Bagley, & Moore, 2018), and increased loneliness (Moors et al, 2013). These results are repeatable and consistent regardless of the methods used (explicit measures of attitudes, implicit measures (IAT) and non-direct measures of attitudes, such as desired social distance ratings and measures of dehumanization through the attribution of primary and secondary emotions).…”

“…Compared to the various types of CNM relationships (polyamory, swinging or/and open relationships depending on the study), the effect of strong positive valorization of monogamy was visible in all studies on lay people's attitudes towards consensually nonmonogamous relationships. Numerous merits are attributed to monogamy, from STI prevention (Balzarini, Shumlich, Kohut, & Campbell, 2018;Hutzler, Giuliano, Herselman, & Johnson, 2016;Moors, Matsick, Ziegler, Rubin, & Conley, 2013), through protecting the relationship from ending and promotion of its longevity (Burleigh, Rubel, & Meegan, 2017;Edwards & Stinnett, 1974;Grunt-Mejer & Łyś, 2019), to increased relationship and sexual satisfaction (Burleigh et al, 2017;Cohen, 2016;Conley et al, 2013;Grunt-Mejer & Campbell, 2016;Grunt-Mejer & Łyś, 2019;Moors et al, 2013).…”

Life History and Multi-Partner Mating: A Novel Explanation for Moral Stigma Against Consensual Non-monogamy

“…Those who practice CNM tend to experience greater moral stigma than those within exclusively monogamous romantic relationships. Compared to monogamous individuals, people are more likely to hold negative attitudes and beliefs about (Conley et al, 2013a;Moors et al, 2013;Grunt-Mejer and Campbell, 2016;Burleigh et al, 2017;Thompson et al, 2018), dehumanize (Rodrigues et al, 2018), and socially distance themselves from Balzarini et al (2018a) individuals within CNM relationships. Compared to CNM relationships, monogamy is presumed to improve sexual frequency and desire, sexual health, relationship satisfaction, experiences of jealousy, and childcare practices (Conley et al, 2013a,c,d) and is widely believed to be morally superior to CNM (Conley et al, 2013a;Matsick et al, 2014;Grunt-Mejer and Campbell, 2016).…”