ImportanceTransgender (trans) patients report frequent discriminatory and harmful experiences in health care settings; gender-affirming, competent health care improves trans individuals’ health and well-being.ObjectiveTo identify factors influencing trans patients’ decision-making regarding sharing gender-related information with providers (clinicians, health care organizations, health care systems) and trans patient preferences for gender-related questions, as well as the subsequent impact on health care experiences.Design, Setting, and ParticipantsA qualitative, interpretivist phenomenological study was conducted via telephone or video (using Zoom) in English and Spanish from August 10 to September 11, 2020. Participants were recruited via trans-specific social media groups and email listservs. Interviews were transcribed verbatim and analyzed from October 2020 to January 2022 using thematic analysis by a majority trans research team.Main Outcomes and MeasuresSemistructured interviews explored patient health care experiences and preferences.ResultsParticipants included 27 trans and/or nonbinary adults (mean [SD] age, 30.9 [10.4] years; range, 21-69 years) from 13 US states. Four themes were identified: (1) impact of provider behaviors, (2) engaging in relational risk assessment, (3) receiving affirming vs medically competent care, and (4) “how are you going to fit [me] into your system?” The first theme reflected the impact of provider actions, including level of flexibility in care and interpersonal interactions, ability to explain medical relevance of gender-related questions, and preparedness to work with trans patients. Second, respondents weighed a variety of implicit or explicit safety cues when deciding whether and how to share information with providers. Third, participants spoke at length about affirming and medically competent care, noting that they have had to prioritize one over the other. Last, participants reported their needs often being at odds with health care system norms and standards of care.Conclusion and RelevanceIn this qualitative study of trans patient preferences when discussing gender-related information with providers, it was found that equitable, gender-affirming, and competent health care requires flexibility and responsiveness to patient preferences. It requires provider humility and engagement, as well as institutional policies that support competent and gender-affirming spaces. Future research could identify additional roles that providers, administrators, and systems can play in ensuring competent care for trans patients.