This article is a spiritual autoethnography that discusses the necessity and possibility of finding names for personal religious or spiritual beliefs. It investigates the multiple nature of selfhood, crossing boundaries, and shifting identities by relating the life story of the author from being born a Muslim to being an atheist, and then to becoming interested in religious mysticism and being a devoted spiritual traveler. By means of autoethnographic techniques, the article illustrates how people are urged to find new names for what they are specifically when they perform religious rules of a faith in a different way. The article also discusses the consequences of re-naming.[natural spirituality, Ostad Elahi, autoethnography, naming, re-naming]
You'd Better Find a Name For What You Are!We were in a restaurant; it was a small get-together. My husband and a close friend of ours had their beers in front of them; my daughter and I had our smoothies. Our friend took a sip of his beer and closed his eyes to show how much he was enjoying it. Then he offered me a sip: "Try some! This is one of the most delicious beers in the world." The familiar sense of discomfort overtook me. "No, thanks!" I smiled in a friendly manner and tried to change the subject, but he insisted. I was becoming uncomfortable as I had a feeling that my personal space was being violated. Despite reminding myself that I did not have to explain, I told him that I did not drink alcoholic beverages. Satisfied, as if he was waiting for me to say the sentence, our friend leaned back and asked: "And why is that? Is it because you are a Muslim? Why don't you wear hijab then?" He continued with a short lecture, reviewing the rules of Islam and my conflicting religious choices, and firmly concluded: "You, definitely, are not a Muslim. You'd better find a name for what you are!" That was not the first time someone questioned and disputed my religious beliefs. Trying to manage contradictory ideologies in my mind, I had built a personal system of religious ideas that evaded definition. I always thought of my ideology as a "constant work in progress" because I was frequently modifying it. I was never comfortable discussing it with others because I did not