“We Were Among the First Non-traditional Families”: Thematic Perceptions of Lesbian Parenting After 25 Years

Abstract

In the sixth wave of the U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), when their offspring were 25 years old, the parents were asked to reflect on their most challenging and best experiences raising children in non-traditional families. The responses of 131 parents were interpreted through thematic analysis. The most challenging parenting experiences fell into five major categories: (1) distress about their children’s experiences of exclusion, heterosexism, or homophobic stigmatization; (2) family of origin non-acceptance of their lesbian-parent family; (3) the never-ending process of “educating the world about queer parents”; (4) homophobia or hostility toward their non-traditional family; and (5) lack of legal protections for sexual minority parent (SMP) families. Their best parenting experiences included: (1) being role models, leading to a greater acceptance of LGBTQ people; (2) treasuring the LGBTQ parent and family community; (3) teaching their children to appreciate diversity of all types; and (4) witnessing their child’s pride in their non-traditional family. Some of these challenges were anticipated by the parents more than a quarter century ago at the time that they were inseminating or pregnant with the index offspring.

The Legal Vulnerability Model for Same-Sex Parent Families: A Mixed Methods Systematic Review and Theoretical Integration

“…While not focal to our review, we also propose that the economic and legal disadvantages of unrecognized family relationships (e.g., lack of health insurance, Gonzales and Blewett, 2013 ) and, conversely, increased legal and financial security of the family (e.g., Goldberg and Kuvalanka, 2012 ; Gartrell et al, 2019 ; Malmquist et al, 2020 ) impact children's health and well-being. This robust association between parental socioeconomic status and child health is outlined in detail elsewhere (Repetti et al, 2002 ; Conger et al, 2010 ).…”

“…Legal vulnerability also adds a structural facet to rejection sensitivity (Feinstein, 2020 ). Based on the evidence provided in our review, we propose that legal vulnerability is associated with rejection sensitivity toward the legal system (i.e., legal rejection sensitivity): Within our evidence base, this legal rejection sensitivity took the form of (anxiously) expecting that legal documents will not hold up in court (e.g., McClellan, 2001 ; Bergen et al, 2006 ; Goldberg et al, 2013 ), expectations of prejudicial treatment by actors within the legal system or the state (e.g., Goldberg et al, 2014 ; Gash and Raiskin, 2018 ; Wheeler et al, 2018 ; Zhabenko, 2019 ), distrust in the state or foreign jurisdictions recognizing the family structure (e.g., when traveling; Bergen et al, 2006 ; Gartrell et al, 2019 ), or questioning the motivation behind (e.g., Rawsthorne, 2013 ) or the permanency of progressive legal change (i.e., expecting a backlash; Goldberg et al, 2013 ; Denman, 2016 ).…”

“…Legal vulnerability is also associated with hypervigilance because of the non-recognized, ambiguous, or criminalized legal status of the family (members). This hypervigilance manifested itself in diverse ways within our review, for example by always having important legal documents at hand (e.g., Park et al, 2016 ; Gash and Raiskin, 2018 ; Gartrell et al, 2019 ; Zhabenko, 2019 ), being vigilant about when and where to publicly display the family structure (Vučković Juroš, 2019b ; Zhabenko, 2019 ), or about a possible relationship dissolution that could entail loss of contact to a non-legal child (Butterfield and Padavic, 2014 ).…”

Investigaciones y avances en el estudio social y psicoeducativo de las familias diversas

“…Latin countries are generally characterized by more familistic and less individualistic values compared to countries such as the US or the UK (Hofstede, 2011). Findings from the USA suggest that wider extended family relationships remained strained for at least some of the white middle class lesbian mothers in the NLLFS sample (Gartrell, Rothblum, Koh, van Beusekom & Bos, 2019). Twenty-five years on from their original inclusion in the NLLFS as lesbians undergoing DI some mothers said that their relationships with their family of origin had improved after much reparative work, but 16% of the sample of mainly white middle class lesbian mothers said that their family unit was still not fully accepted by all of their family of origin members.…”

Helicopter parenting, emotional avoidant coping, mental health, and homophobic stigmatization among emerging adult offspring of lesbian parents.

“…The NLLFS parents belong to the first generation of planned lesbian-parent families. As such, many have experienced criticism from their families of origin, social and religious communities, and even other lesbian women (Gartrell et al, 2019). In addition, their children have suffered from homophobic stigmatization in a variety of settings (e.g., within schools, medical systems, and social spheres).…”