You Don’t Really Love Me, Do You? Negative Effects of Imagine-Other Perspective-Taking on Lower Self-Esteem Individuals’ Relationship Well-Being

Abstract

Two studies demonstrated that active efforts to appreciate a romantic partner's unique point of view (imagine-other perspective-taking) lead individuals lower in self-esteem (LSEs) to feel less loved by their partner and less satisfied with their relationship as a result. These effects were evident regardless of whether individuals' perspective-taking efforts involved reflecting specifically on a disagreement with their partner (Study 2) or not (Study 1). The studies thus identify a new path through which perspective-taking efforts can detract from relational well-being, one to which LSEs are uniquely vulnerable. Results from an open-ended thought-listing task administered in Study 2 confirmed that increased cognitive energy LSEs devoted to drawing (negative) metaperceptual inferences about their partner's evaluation of them contributed to the negative effect of imagine-other perspective-taking on their perceived regard. No such effects were evident for individuals higher in self-esteem, and imagine-self perspective-taking instead exerted a general positive influence on individuals' evaluations of their partner.

Are Psychosocial Resources Associated With Perceived Facial Aging in Men?

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“…Nonetheless, people whose self-relevant motives may override relationship-protection motives may engage in less beneficial forms of perspective taking. Vorauer and Quesnel (2013) found some evidence that, because low self-esteem actors are focused on partner's negative feelings toward the self, imagine-other perspective taking may lead actors low in self-esteem to feel less loved. Actors high in attachment anxiety also are motivated to detect possible rejection, which can lead to more accurate detection of partner's threatening thoughts and emotions that could exacerbate self-protective, destructive responses (Simpson et al, 2011).…”