“You’re Gay, It’s Just What Happens”: Sexual Minority Men Recounting Experiences of Unwanted Sex in the Era of MeToo

Abstract

Our grounded theory analysis derives from in-depth interviews conducted with 24 gay, bisexual, queer, and other men who have sex with men (GBM) living in Toronto, Canada, to understand their experiences of sexual coercion. Participants drew on discourse from the #MeToo movement to reconsider the ethics of past sexual experiences. The idea that gay or queer sex is inherently risky and unique from heterosexual relations made negotiating sexual safety challenging. These notions were enforced by homophobic discourses on the one hand, and counter discourses of sexual liberation, resistance to heteronormativity, hegemonic masculinity, and HIV prevention on the other. Biomedical advances in HIV prevention such as pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) and undetectable viral load affected how some participants felt about sexual autonomy and safety. Participants held themselves responsible for needing to be more assertive within sexual encounters to avoid coercion. Many believed that unwanted sex is unavoidable among GBM: if "you're gay, it's just what happens." Targeted education aimed at GBM communities that incorporates insights on GBM sexual subcultures is necessary. This work must be situated within a broader understanding of how gender norms and hegemonic masculinity, racism, HIV status, and other power imbalances affect sexual decision-making, consent, pleasure, and sexual harm.

Sexual and gender minority men’s bystander behaviors and barriers in response to witnessing minor sexual aggression.

“…The layout of alcohol-intensive environments being a barrier to bystander intervention is particularly concerning when 84% of our reported situations where a participant had an opportunity to bystand were in these settings. Second, consistent with prior research (Gaspar et al, 2021; McKie et al, 2020), some SGM men reported that unwanted touching is normative in alcohol-intensive and highly sexualized environments, like the environments participants described in their responses. Thus, witnessing such behavior in an alcohol-intensive environment may not automatically be perceived as concerning and not cue men into seeing a situation as worthy of their involvement.…”

“…Specifically, there is a broader (hetero)gender perception that men are always willing to have sex, suggesting they cannot be victims of sexual assault (Jozkowski & Peterson, 2013). Additionally, unwanted sexual touching and sexual violence may be normalized within the SGM community (Gaspar et al, 2021; Salter et al, 2021). Risk identification for SGM men may be complicated then by norms surrounding gender and sexuality which inform SGM men that intervention is not needed for other SGM men.…”

‘He is the customer, I will say yes’: Notions of power, precarity and consent to sexual harassment by customers in the gay tourism industry

“…Additionally, aligning with the work of Good and Cooper (2016), our data has confirmed the blurred lines of what is considered sexual harassment in this context, suggesting that the (hyper)sexualization of labor becomes the driver for normalization and consent of sexual harassment by the customer. In doing so, we also contribute to existing research suggesting that in gay community environments, sexual consent is assumed and expected (Gaspar et al, 2021;Sternin et al, 2022), leaving workers vulnerable to sexual harassment by customers. Indeed, the evident lack of policies and processes in organizations noted by authors such as Dawson et al (2021), Poulston (2008) and Yagil (2008) to address the issue suggests that sexual harassment is an accepted (mis)behavior by customers.…”

“…Gaspar et al. (2021; p. 1206) refer to discourses which regularly present GBM as highly sexually active, sexually desirous, and sexually assertive, which complicates sexual coercion within this population, generating perceptions of ‘assumed consent’ within a ‘culture of silence’ to sexual violence and a sense of entitlement to sexual advances. Sternin et al.…”

“…This is highly problematic given the unique characteristics of the GBM population and the fact that gay and bisexual men are at higher risk for unwanted sexual experiences than heterosexual men (McKie et al, 2020). Gaspar et al (2021;p. 1206) refer to discourses which regularly present GBM as highly sexually active, sexually desirous, and sexually assertive, which complicates sexual coercion within this population, generating perceptions of 'assumed consent' within a 'culture of silence' to sexual violence and a sense of entitlement to sexual advances.…”